The Goods, ambiguity be thy name! You have a plot that is more 1980s Revenge of the Nerds than 1990s Dumb and Dumber. You offer the greatest collection of one liners since Anchorman, and an ensemble of comedians willing to deliver. Still, everything about this film is hyperbolized and trashy. For once my sunglasses are offering only shades of grey. There is no black and white in the world of Jeremy Piven’s desperate foray into the movie world, again.

American highways are cluttered. They are jam packed with irresponsible and reckless drivers. Accidents and road rage aside, the most grievous offense committed every day is rubbernecking. This brings us to The Marc Pease Experience. This movie is like a car accident on the side of the highway, or a massive train wreck on T.V. You know it is none of your business but for some reason beyond our comprehension we are drawn to look, to stare and to lose track of all other thoughts. This may cause traffic jams and indelible frustration but we all need to see it to believe it. This is the only explanation no matter how razor thin I can offer for why I endured ninety minutes of torture.

Brooklyn’s Finest is like a gourmet recipe with all of the right ingredients. They are fresh, in the perfect quantities and the come together perfectly at the end. There are three prominent storylines that intersect at the close of the film. It is anyone’s guess how the storylines will unfold. One thing is for sure, whether you react harshly or strongly toward this picture, it is thoroughly unpredictable.

Bitch Slapped? More like a** raped. Two of the primary characters’ names are "Dicksplash" (one word or two?) and "Boom Boom". As the feast/smorgasbord of breast meat begins one of our harlots enters a trailer, downs a few magic pills and has an Exorcist moment. She then proceeds to tell her trailer trash friends that there were no pharmaceuticals of any kind inside…

Are you a 2012er? I was not a 2012er before I watched this movie and afterward I was still not a member of the movement. This film is a real cliffhanger (watch the movie and then laugh at the joke). Déjà Vous is the feeling one is doing or seeing something they have witnessed or experienced before. 2012 reminds me of a cobbled together version of every global action picture produced and spliced together on the cutting room floor by the film geek network. Before proceeding we must ask ourselves ‘is John Cusack the best choice for the lead role in a hundred million dollar action film about the ending of planet Earth?’ And then we must answer the question honestly: no.

The Crazies is not so crazy. It seems more plausible than inconceivable. It is one of the best bio-techno terror thrillers (the three T’s of alliteration) in the industry. With Timothy Olyphant masterfully guiding the pace and quality of this film as the star it is no wonder the crew overcame an ordinary setting and made the story extraordinary.

Sorority sisters play a really "funny" prank on one of the sister’s boyfriends. They pretend the ruffies they gave him for easy sex backfired and killed their sister. After driving the alleged lifeless carcass to an abandoned oil well her boyfriend for some mind-numbing reason finishes the job with a tire iron. Way to go dude, you are officially a murderer! I know everyone wants to kill their lover at some point but that is not meant to be taken literally! The result of his actions is many reviewers have to watch a film that is a coin flip. What do I mean by that? Find out…

Recently I watched The Box with James Marsden and Cameron Diaz. Both have been relegated to B list status on account of their age and lack of acting improvement. In Hollywood you either age well or act well, and occasionally both. Fortunately each actor has chosen the perfect role here. Robert Matheson's short story "Button, Button" (22 pages short) has been massively overhauled and transformed into a science fiction thriller entitled The Box.

Tenure is fascinating for much more than being the first straight to DVD Friday morning release in popular memory. The characters (every character) are given brilliant dialogue, they are perfectly cast for their individual roles, and frankly, they are all excellent comedians. I expected another rubbish pile and instead I came upon buried treasure. Look out Pirates of the Caribbean, for the fourth installment you can go to Blockbuster Video and see Luke Wilson about your precious metals.