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Scream 4 on Blu-ray and DVD

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Written by Jonathan Jacobs

Scream 4 begins with a montage of vignettes from Stab 6 and Stab 7. These films, written and created by the legendary reported and victim, Gale Weathers-Riley (the plastic surgery experiment known as Courtney Cox), are part real-life and part spoofs on films such as Saw (I-VII). When Scream 4 begins we are led to believe by Director Wes Craven that the initial scenes are real mimics of the original Scream films. Once he gives up the ghost and viewers come to realize it is just a scene from Stab 6 that is eerily reminiscent of the early Screams, the real horror begins...almost. Turns out we were watching part of Stab 7 that is really the beginning of Stab 6. Creative right? Anyone else want to fall off a cliff?

In addition to a fresh group of teenage wannabes and bitches (sorry ladies, if these women do not come across as the future gold-shovelers of tomorrow I pity you), Dewey Riley is now the Sherriff. He is an effective officer to say the least. His maturity and ability to protect citizens is well-known. Sidney Prescott (Neve Campbell) has written a fascinating novel describing her encounters with murderers and her derring-do escape from their clutches. Her newfound success makes Gale terribly jealous. How dare she steal the spotlight when she hasn't even had twelve plastic surgeries?!

The plot devolves quickly into an ABC Family drama interspersed with "What's your favorite scary movie" lines and "I'm gonna gut you like a fish" admonitions. As coincidences abound viewers are certain to become scared. I only wish I could have pressed fast forward to spare myself the terrorizing suspense. For those of you that have not detected the sarcastic tones, again, I pity you.

Scream 4 is a star-studded picture. Kristen Bell, Courtney Cox, Neve Campbell, David Arquette, Hayden Panattiere, Emma Roberts, and Aimee Teegarden (from Prom, yay!) are the featured actors. With a cast this expensive and experienced one would expect magic. Instead the trick is stale and unworthy of the big screen. This is a slapdash horror movie riddled with clichés, stupid Twitter jokes, unlikely happenstances, and an idiotic dialogue worthy of a Movie of the Week on Sci-Fi. The costumes have not been sufficiently updated, the characters are stale and pitifully over the hill for their roles, and there is absolutely nothing original to speak of. Shame on you Wes Craven. Scream 4 is filled with screams, just from the actresses and not the audience. D-.