Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

The Watch Movie 2012

User Rating:  / 2

Details

Written by Jonathan Jacobs

Without getting too granular as is often the case, we need to instead focus on the actors and how well they performed and meshed together. Ben Stiller portrays a character that is a blend of his two usual personae; a tight wad stickler with a rigid attitude and a funny partygoer with a carefree nonchalance. Managing a Costco, Stiller's character is a control freak that is infertile and dying to be loved. His infertility is so distracting that it forces him to miss out on incredibly steamy ejaculatory sex with his mid-forties cougar-licious wife.

Richard Ayoade plays a white-skinned black man whose cognomen is Jamarcus, which is coincidentally the funniest black name ever. It is a portmanteau of two names cobbled together into one that could not suit Ayoade better. Ayoade plays an alien experimenting with living inside of human skin. His greatest newfound pleasure is having his balls sucked by a hot slutty Asian woman. In other words, the American Dream!

Vince Vaughn reverts back to his mid-nineties Swingers form. Playing a fun-loving part animal living in a man cave and kicking his daughter's boyfriend's ass suits him well...except that it doesn't jive with how old he looks. Vince Vaughn recently had a damn seamless face lift. Vince Vaughn's face lift is almost undetectable unless a trained spotter is looking for the tell-tale signs. While Vaughn is routinely funny in The Watch, he is equally as painfully not. He forces the humor instead of letting it develop. Credit film writer Seth Rogen for feeding him too many stale jokes.

Jonah Hill is the variable here. Hill has become a leading man. Comedy is in his blood, but then again so is lap band surgery. Hill portrays a wannabe police officer that failed the mental, physical and written police exams but he still holds out hope of one day moving out of his mom's house and getting a job. Me too! Though not a fan of his, it is obvious that Hill is better served as a leader and not a follower.

Shooting aliens at a Costco (Costco engages in shameless self-promotion here) is every video gamer's dream. The question is does it make for good cinema? The Watch film has enough laughs so as to not embarrass anyone involved.  The Asian ball sucker, idiotic local cops, Vaughn's tantrums, and alien comas are amusing, but very little is memorably hilarious. Perhaps my expectations were too high for The Watch movie because of the comedians involved on both the acting and the writing side of things. Either way, save this for a special DVD night as the Watch belongs on Blu Ray and nowhere else. One alien up and one shape shifter down.