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High Maintenance Film

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Written by Jonathan Jacobs

A rather obese and ordinary husband  Hank (Ray Bokhour) wants what every man wants; peace and quiet and the chance to heavily fornicate in the linen closet. Hey, everyone has their own fantasy right? Hank's wife Melissa (Geneva Carr) never takes her shirt off during sex (who can blame her?) and she is more about cadence than clawing. One fateful day she decides that she wants to have a baby. The doctors discover Hank's infertility that can be cured for three days with, as director Hines vernacularly puts it, "dick surgery". A few incisions here, a few ventricular openings there and voila fertility at its finest! What could possibly go wrong?

Almost sixty seconds into their first foray of mass squirting, enters the dreaded mother in law Janet (Marylouise Burke). Janet is a fiery woman with a loud temper and a peculiar erotic dream to be drilled by Latin men. She has lost her job and been accused of rape. This is no small matter for a seventy year old woman. Insisting on staying at her daughter's house (she naturally hates Hank with a passion), the dick surgery might as well be for nothing.

Enter Hank's hilarious best friend a solutions present themselves out of thin air. Without spoiling too much, there is a certain Latin man from Craig's list that agrees to escort Janet on a flirtatious date. Given Janet's proclivity for nonsense and embarrassment this cannot and does not end well.

Shawn Wines has done a beautiful job making the most of his 17 minutes of fame. His film High Maintenance is hilarious. I would travel to the theater to watch it despite its length and that is saying something. He is ambitious enough to make an impact in Hollywood and best of luck to him.