|$||70.5M||Star Trek Into Darkness|
|$||35.1M||Iron Man 3|
|$||23.4M||The Great Gatsby (2013)|
|$||3.1M||Pain & Gain|
|As of May 19, 2013|
A 3,000 year old Chinese vase is haunted. It's spirit causes murder and mayhem among its captives. Everyone is slated to die, including the pilot and the crewmembers. The passengers begin warring amongst themselves, a young couple squeezes off an orgasm before being half-impaled, and the most annoying people in the world are disappearing on an airplane with no obvious egresses. Murder and mystery are in the air and it smells like stale airline coffee. Truly these passengers are Airborne!
Mark Hamill's presence makes the Airborne movie slightly more tolerable but not by much. Every throat slice is predictable, and the concept of having a haunted vase onboard is about as original as calling Tim Tebow a wretched quarterback. Not a one of these actors delivers a standout performance that will garner themselves another film role. Frankly, this is one plane audiences will not feel sympathy for if it vanishes without a trace. Perhaps the only humor occurs when Mark Hamill's character is also removed and gotten rid of as a potential witness to a strange incident. Retirement indeed, which is where Airborne 2012 belongs, officially.
Written by Jonathan Jacobs
Member Florida Film Critics Circle
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