Lindsay Lohan has been attacked by fur protestors in Paris! Maybe she should consider waxing? This week she offered details on her "girlfriend", you go boy, I mean girl, I am so confused, not more confused than she is though!

Charlie Sheen and his wife are expecting twins. Every celebrity couple seems to have twin babies. Maybe China really did discover America in 1421 and spread the Siamese blessing to the natives. Congratulations to the only man who enjoyes escorts more than Hugh Grant and Eliot Spitzer combined!

Terrence Howard is a hunk. He is hip, stylish, cool, and has a movie star's swagger. So why in the world has he been replaced in Iron Man II by the much shorter, boring, and stale Don Cheadle? Some claim it is because of a money dispute, Howard pleads ignorance to the real reason. What is clear is the ignorance is coming from the casting directors, good job morons!

Eva Longoria Parker is the fattest size zero I have ever seen! She should be ashamed of herself for not look anarexic and like a skeleton. There goes her Halloween movie typecasting. Maybe she and Jennifer Love Hewitt should have a fat people's party.

Bradgelina and the twins are back stateside, maybe next time they will buy septuplets on the world market! That would like, so make for better paparazzi pics! Dennis Quaid is still fighting gossip and rumors spread by Meg Ryan, who for some reason has never gotten over him. Maybe it is because Dennis is so tall...

Leo and Kate want to kiss each other, they are best friends. The only obstacle? The director is Kate's husband. Cue the violins, cue the Celine, maybe that will help rekindle the romance. I have a suggestion...Make out with full tongue and if you still want to be married Kate, god bless you!

Nicole Kidman is an overpaid actress, yesterday the entire world expressed their shock and dismay by not giving a crap. Extra, extra, read all about it: Johnny Depp is the new Riddler, Philip Seymour Hoffman is the Penguin. Who would have thought Christopher Nolan would have sunk to these lows, typecasting characters based on their physical size without any regard for their lack of talent? Just because Hoffman never met a meal he disliked...

According to Associated Press reports, Tom Cruise is vying for movie roles against Bradd Pitt. Tom and Katie have split, and Leo DiCaprio is liberal, goodness I am overwhelmed with these revelations! Cruise's new film Valkyrie is set to debut late this year and is expected to be the biggest flop in box office history.

Sam Raimi and Toby McGuire are returning for two more Spiderman films making it the longest trilogy in history. It will be a pentilogy! What is unclear is whether or not James Franco will return in any manner or if Kirsten Dunst, who is clinically depressed because she is the least attractive actress in history, will make an appearance in the films. What is sure is the box office revenue that will grow exponentially. Will this warrant two new Matrix movies?

Shymalan is exploring a sequel to the Bruce Willis, Samuel L. Jackson film Unbreakable. The only problem is we already know how it ends, change the title dude! Last and certainly least, Vin Diesel will return to the XXX franchise. With his acting skills and natural god-given talents we are going to be in for a very big treat.