A third XXX movie is on the way and I am titillated. Still, I wonder, why did the producers not read the title of their own movie and make the first film X, then XX, then oh my, the seductive XXX? Miley Cyrus has a stalker, but there is good news. He hates Hannah Montana. Thank goodness for stage names! Benicio Del Toro has elected to play the role of the Wolfman. To save money on CGI personnel and the special effects budget Benicio has agreed not to shave for two weeks prior to shooting.

       Michael Moore (the world’s most overweight documentarian) has started production of a film about what else, capitalism. I wonder how evil capitalism is since it allowed his body to pile on monstrous pounds while eating the most expensive food only money can buy. Michael Douglas has signed on for Wall Street 2 over twenty years after the release of the smash hit original, Wall Street. To add "gravitas" to the cast, the corpse of Susan Sarandon is being considered for a warm role.

       Despite the fact that New Moon is not even in theaters yet, production has begun on Eclipse, the third installment of at least four Twilight films. The titles keep getting better. I imagine if there will be a fifth film it will be called Dark Lunacy. Get it? The lovely Elizabeth Banks will star in Forever 21 and The Next Three Days. She has been called a comic genius, so much so that even I want to make a porno now!

       A sequel to Hancock is being talked about. It appears John Hancock was not enough, Chris Farley himself has moved on to Herbie. This weekend expect the lowest turnout of movie fans all year. The only two "sizzling" movies on the docket are Final Destination 4 (the last feature film until twelve more DVDs and remakes are made), and Rob Zombie’s bloody thriller Halloween 2. I love Halloween 2; the original. See you next time folks.