The post-apocalypse fable 9 is scheduled to open on 9-9-9, coincidence? I plan on watching it 9 times, reviewing it nine times, and buying the DVD nine times. Transylmania is a film about a college full of vampires. We already have this, all colleges are full of bloodsuckers. The administrators take our hard-earned tuition and turn it into a winning athletic program!

       There will indeed be a fifth Rambo movie. Preemptively it is entitled Bloody Stump. With Spiderman 4 on the horizon for 2010, Fox has elected to overhaul the Fantastic Four series. Thus far the two FF4 movies have been Mediocre 4 and Soap Opera Flop 4. Keanu Reeves' next film will be called Henry's Crime, something he voluntarily commits while lighting a doobey.

       Columbia Pictures is seeking to get the band back together for Bad Boys III. Can two actors over 40 still be called "boys" when they have white hair? In production by popular demand, (just kidding) is Joel Silver's 3D iteration of Swamp Thing, no really, we mean it! Casting calls are still ongoing amond the earthy environmentalist crowd. Columbia Pictures is also pursuing a CGI movie creation of the former smash hit cartoon "The Smurfs". They are looking into casting Ron Jeremy as Poppa Smurf. Who else could father so many children so quickly?