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Zombieland with Woody Harrelson

Zombieland is perhaps the funniest movie engineered in a long time. Woody Harrelson (if you are a regular reader you understand why) is not one of my favorites, but he used to be. Channeling his inner Woody Boyd from "Cheers" and bowling prophylactic kingpin from Kingpin, he has hit a home run out of the park (providing that park has a zombie population of 0).

     In Zombieland, according to Jessie Eisenberg, one must abide by at least 32 rules. The most salient are maintaining one’s cardiovascular fitness, one must not hesitate to shoot or run over one of the infected at least twice, and one needs to wear their seatbelt at all times (damn you General Motors for promoting the Cadillac Escalade and throwing in the seatbelt reminder!). Actually, this may have been a masterstroke of advertising, even better than telling 350 million Americans that they should never drive a Toyota again because the Prius has no brakes! Eisenberg’s character is a neurotic, friendless recluse who survived ironically because of his flaws/deficiencies. While managing to survive based on a self-written rulebook, he encounters the most badass living member of Zombieland (planet Earth post-mastication) Woody Harrelson. Each survivor is given a new name signifying their home town. Harrelson is "Tallahassee", Eisenberg is "Columbus", Emma Stone is "Wichita", and Abigail Breslin is "Little Rock".

     Tallahassee is off the charts hilarious in this film. Rather than playing a token role or a paranoid skeptic (2012), he is the lead. As a bellowing murderous maniac with a mean streak and years of pent up frustration, he destroys private property, car windshields, and shoots hundreds of fat frothing at the mouth zombies for sport. Without his sense of humour and routine glass shattering, he would lose all sanity living in a barren wasteland full of the undead. The pairing of the cautious Eisenberg (whose fears I sort of agree with) with the reckless Harrelson makes for comedy that otherwise would never have existed.

     The funniest part of what is a comedy film set in a worldwide graveyard (just tell me how in the heck electricity works in Zombieland!) is played by none other than Bill Murray or BM for short. Traveling with the two con artists Wichita and Little Rock, Tallahassee and Columbus decide to take refuge at the mansion of the "greatest fucking actor of all time, Bill Murray." This may be true, depending on one’s criteria of course. It turns out that BM is one of the five people on the planet still alive. What is his secret? Naturally he dresses with makeup and a wig to look like a zombie. He plays golf and grocery shops amidst a sea of the enemy, whom he sort of resembles. After having the greatest time of his life Tallahassee takes Bill Murray in full costume to meet Columbus. Columbus and Little Rock were watching Ghostbusters part one on BM’s home movie theater when BM came in to scare them. Not understanding the gag, Columbus fired a hole through poor BM’s sternum. Whoops! Somebody get this man a hot dog! Sorry, I stole that line from Baseketball. The duality of Ghostbusters playing while Bill Murray is killed as a zombie by his former movie partner Woody Harrelson is too funny to imagine, you simply need to see it to believe it.

     The storyline has more holes than a sponge. Still, we must ask, is Zombieland "sponge-worthy?" Absolutely, I laughed twenty times at the carnage and destruction. Fat zombies? Hilarious. Riding a rollercoaster while blowing heads off? Hysterical! The list goes on. If you need a good laugh and have a loose sense of humor this is one movie you cannot miss, or you might not survive if the world ever changes, REALLY changes!

Last Updated on Thursday, 04 February 2010 09:05  

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Box Office Numbers

$20.5MTakers
$20.3MThe Last Exorcism
$9.5MThe Expendables
$6.8MEat Pray Love
$6.2MThe Other Guys
As of August 30, 2010

Movie Quote of the Week

“Roses are red, violets are blue, I'm a schizophrenic and so am I.” Bill Murray in What About Bob

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The Dancing with the Stars 2010 cast has been revealed. David Hasselhoff will bring his bottle, Bristol Palin will bring her baby and Mike Sorrentino will bring his ball (maybe even both). Will Taylor Lautner settle a business lawsuit with a push-up competition? I thought only Hooters does that? Mickey Rourke has shaved it all, and his head too. Tiger Woods has moved into a bachelor pad in downtown Manhattan. It seems to be Tiger will be “uptown” as much as he will be “downtown” if you know what I mean. Lindsay Lohan wants her career back. Yeah, and I want my ticket money back. Only one of us will get what we want, I am $10 richer. Paris Hilton has been charged with felony cocaine possession. I thought it was baking soda at first but after snorting my arm and hammer told me otherwise. The only real question is why is she not in jail already? Has there ever been a bigger failure and disgrace on a family’s good name?

My favorite T.V. stars performed wonderfully at the Emmys…by not showing up. Neither House nor Entourage won any awards? What a disgrace. How about offering the award for best leading actress in a drama series to Lindsay Lohan for her time in court? This just in Kim Kardashian is in dozens of Emmy pics. This is the first time she has begged for attention. Miley has moved on from Liam. If only her sunglasses and boots would move on…from the 80s her turnaround would be spectacular. Miley may already be dating Douglas Booth, a.k.a. the only actor in the world desperate enough to star in a movie with her. Drew Barrymore seems to have spent too much of the President's stimulus money on her face. Finally, Beyonce has taken heat for showing off her bod in a technocolor dream coat. We think it’s groovy baby, very smashing.

 


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