| $ | 103.0M | Marvel's The Avengers |
| $ | 29.6M | Dark Shadows |
| $ | 5.8M | Think Like a Man |
| $ | 4.5M | The Hunger Games |
| $ | 4.1M | The Lucky One |
| As of May 14, 2012 | ||
A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.
Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!
Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?
J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.
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Better the Devil you know than the Devil you don’t know? How many times has Satan been reinvented? Does the dark lord really need a makeover? Maybe he should be a guest celebrity on “The Biggest Loser”? Honestly, I would rather see him on the “Million Dollar Money Drop”. He needs to feel what the viewers when a million dollars in cash fall into someone else’s bank account (extreme elation!). Devil is a film produced and written by M. Knight Shyamalan. It is directed by John Erick Dowdle. The principal actors are Chris Messina (Detective Bowden), Bojana Navokovic (Sarah Caraway), and Logan Marshall-Green (Tony). Enough with all of the pageantry, it is time to go straight to the depths of…an elevator.
Something sinister is astir. A corporate building’s glass window has been shattered in an apparent suicide. Shortly after meeting with his sponsor, Detective Bowden is sent to investigate. The clouds in the sky are swirling and look vicious. The day is darkening. Five individuals have been trapped in a corporate elevator. Nothing is as it seems. Two security guards are monitoring the passengers as they become suspicious, tell each other mistruths, and all hell breaks loose. The security guards are unable to hear the “victims” because their microphone is malfunctioning. The passengers can hear incoming announcements however. After an act of sadistic violence is perpetrated on a young female, Sarah, Ramirez (Jacob Vargas) becomes convinced the Devil is perpetrating the entire affair. Sarah’s back is lacerated by what appear to be someone or something’s razor sharp teeth. The lights in the elevator begin fluctuating and the building’s mechanic is unable to stabilize or reach the malfunctioning device.
In an effort to establish order, Detective Bowden is called into the building to micromanage the rescue operation. Bowden calls for reinforcements, including firefighters, and the elevator company’s repairman. Surprise, surprise, the elevator is out of business with no forwarding number. The firefighters have to cut through concrete to reach the elevator. Meanwhile, the plot thickens.
As violence is repeatedly perpetrated, including the hanging of the elderly woman (Jenny O’Hara), a great deal is revealed about the passengers. Bowden and Ramirez discover who the passengers are and receive information about their criminal backgrounds. Nobody and nothing is as it seems. Slowly, Bowden begins listening to Ramirez’s theory that the devil is in the elevator and has brought him to the crime scene as a witness to what will occur. One could argue that justice is being served as all of those trapped are or were hardened criminals or murderers.
Devil is a complex film. Although it is a retread of centuries’ old religious folklore, nobody knows how to craft an ingenious story like Shyamalan. Devil is sick and twisted, but most of all, it is really exciting! DVD releases are rarely this entertaining, let alone in the middle of a barren movie wasteland during the month of January. I promise that Devil will frighten those of you who are skeptics. It is a genuine horror/action/adventure film. Let me be clear, it is never easy to generate suspense when the primary actors are stuck in an elevator for 90 minutes. Normally, this premise lends itself to boredom. Shymalan has concocted a devilish tale starring, you guessed it, the Devil! Watching the horrific violence and wandering through the darkness is thrilling. I highly recommend this DVD, particularly if you scare easily.
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