| $ | 103.0M | Marvel's The Avengers |
| $ | 29.6M | Dark Shadows |
| $ | 5.8M | Think Like a Man |
| $ | 4.5M | The Hunger Games |
| $ | 4.1M | The Lucky One |
| As of May 14, 2012 | ||
A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.
Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!
Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?
J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.
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Vanishing on 7th Street stars a legend, nay a God among the majority of Star Wars Fans, Mr. Anakin Skywalker, Hayden Christensen. From the instant Vanishing begins we are chilled to our very core. This is a film about the disappearance of millions of people without any apparent rhyme or reason. Only a few have survived the initial onslaught of the mysterious force causing everyone to disappear. If you thought Wall Street businessmen were empty suits before, just wait until you lay your eyes on this spooky thriller!
Movie theater specialist (a euphemism for peon) Paul (John Leguizamo) is busy cleaning popcorn, soda stains, and other bodily fluid emissions when poof, everybody disappears. The projector malfunctions, the lights dim, and nearly everyone has disappeared. They have left behind clothing, wallets, jewelry, etc. Only their glorious naked bodies have melted into thin air. They do not need possessions where they are going. Before Paul reignites his flash light he hears sinister whispers and hand shadows seem to be clawing at his body. Immediately it is clear that something very wrong is happening and that only lights will prevent this supernatural force from taking people away.
Luke (not Skywalker, Hayden Christensen) is a reporter for Action News 7. In a rush to leave his beautiful apartment, Luke suddenly notices the lights flicker and the power is drained. Moving into the sunlight, he narrowly escapes being taken. On the street he finds a day old newspaper and clothing everywhere, indicating where people should be. He recognizes that danger is everywhere and equips himself with the tools for survival (flashlights, water, firearms, etc). Luke disguises himself like any Dark Lord of the Sith would, in full sweatshirt accoutrement.
Three days have passed and finally we see Luke in dire straits. Before his eyes the remaining people of the world are being taken. Darkness has pervaded everywhere. The sun barely rises any longer. The entire world has been transformed. The only solace he finds is a raucous bar running on its remaining gasoline generated power. At the bar, Luke meets an orphaned young kid named James (Jacob Latimore). James is frightened that his mother has disappeared though he foolishly holds out hope of her survival. His acting is the only blemish this film shows. He is given too much profanity-laden dialogue when none is required. Eventually, after reasoning with one another as much as is possible, given the circumstances, Luke and James agree to work together to survive. Having their safe house at a bar cannot hurt, that’s for sure! The entire time, the juke box plays the worst, most Stephen King-esque music imaginable. This entire film reminds me of a twist on Richard Matheson’s stories, Stephen King’s stories, and of “The Twilight Zone”.
Eventually, Jake, Luke, Paul and newcomer Rosemary (the talented Thandie Newton) come together inside of the bar to plot their survival and to philosophize. They are searching for an explication where none exists. Meanwhile, the power generator continually threatens to stop. Their flashlights stop working, and it seems that the dark forces have imposed themselves on all mechanical equipment. Death continues to surround and encircle them.
Vanishing on 7th Street is independent film work at its finest. Independent films are rarely well- budgeted. The real stars of the show are the director (Brad Anderson) and his special effects team. The storyline is brilliant but in the absence of millions of dollars of pyrotechnics it would have been unsustainable with an expert film crew. The little things make all of the difference. Without the perfect timing of the shadows’ encroachment and the last, split second emergency lights coming to the rescue, there would be no suspense. Providing images of pictures/memories being enveloped by shadow and lost forever sets the tone for the grim and hopeless fate that awaits the survivors when their lights run out. The screenwriter Anthony Jaswinski follows through with the film’s primary concept by having the characters question why they have survived when millions of others have been taken. Without the philosophical queries, the character’s dialogue would have greatly suffered. Instead, for an independent movie that will likely prove difficult to find anywhere other than “On Demand”, Vanishing on 7th Street is a genuine thriller. Well done all around!
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