Box Office Numbers

$103.0MMarvel's The Avengers
$29.6MDark Shadows
$5.8MThink Like a Man
$4.5MThe Hunger Games
$4.1MThe Lucky One
As of May 14, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

 A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

Don't Be Afraid of the Dark with Katie Holmes

Guillermo Del Toro has done it. The legendary director has written/created the quintessential monsters under the stairs motion picture. Best of all he has guided the film's stars to excellence. Katie Holmes (Kim) and Guy Pearce (Alex) are fantastic. However, neither are the real star of the show. That honor belongs to young Bailee Madison (Sally, who ironically looks like a young Katie Holmes). Don't Be Afraid of the Dark is horrifying from beginning to end. Mere meters away from crowds of unknowing dinner guests there are gnomish monsters wreaking havoc as they seek to abduct and absorb a terrified child.

Alex is an architect that restores elderly mansions to their former glory. He makes a living at flipping these restorations. His beautiful and much younger girlfriend is the demure Kim. In the inchoate phases of updating a grandiloquent manor, Alex's ex-wife thrusts their daughter into his custody full time. Sally is naturally crestfallen, but she has little time for remorse as vengeful creatures of the night seek to cause her malicious harm. At first she is saved only by her luminescent toy carousel.

The monsters live in the sealed off basement of the home. They have manufactured a dwelling in a furnace like crypt that allows them to sleep for years until fresh victims arrive. To replenish their ranks, the fanged fairies (they sound like Gollum's children) stipulate they will murder at least one new victim and consign their soul to oblivion. They utilize children as bait to lure new victims into their clutches.

These are no ordinary creatures. The gnomes are intelligent as they are former humans turned into tiny vengeful entities. The malicious ones carry knives, scissors, scalpels, and any other devices they can locate in order to mangle would be attackers or victims. Their only ineffectuality is bright light. If only the older home would have modern compact fluorescent bulbs and LED flashlights, but instead Sally's only potent weapon/countermeasure is her Polaroid camera. Those of you familiar with the 80s instant camera will remember its bright flash and its inability to take rapid fire photos.

While Sally is being seduced and then terrorized by the entities, she is also having an impossible time convincing her nearly bankrupt father that the house's latent residents are inimical menaces. Only Kim believes her which is ironic considering their challenging introduction. Kim's curiosity and kindness lead her to the truth but until the bitter end Alex is too obdurate to see the truth.

Make no mistake about it, Don't Be Afraid of the Dark is scary. If viewers can submerse themselves into the spirit of things, this film will do its job and horrify them. The suspense is a killer and the CGI fits nicely with the 1980s feel of the surroundings and decor. There is nothing so vital to a good horror movie as its setting. I have been a Guy Pearce fan since the reenactment of The Time Machine. Katie Holmes has developed into a fine actress. While both deliver admirable performances here, Bailee Madison is the actress that steals the show by being thoroughly realistic. Guillermo Del Toro's Don't Be Afraid of the Dark is a nice addition to modern horror.

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