I am almost speechless. She’s Out Of My League is one of the ten most embarrassing/humiliating movies of all time. I almost like it. Hell, I can relate to it on any number of levels. I enjoyed this film for 39.1 minutes. I laughed hysterically several times. Still, the other 64.9 painstaking minutes are the work of reel butchers. There is so much beauty here but mostly I see the ugly. Jay Baruchel is a 5 (according to his friends) and Alice Eve is an 11.5 (according to your drooling reviewer). I am going to reveal in the first paragraph that this movie deserves a B-.
The major problem is the 39.1 minutes of precious footage are never consecutive. They will surprise you at the exact moment you start thinking the movie has taken a cliff dive onto jagged rocks. There are four main male characters and three female starlets. Alice Eve (Molly) is the party planner with a set of boobs that beg the hackneyed question "got milk?" She is simply going to make 99% of viewers drool and do so without shame or hesitation. Molly is a great person and one that sees the beauty inside of others more so than the superficial looks. Still, even she understands the reality and complexity of dating a nerd. I read Star Trek and Star Wars novels and still I am a hundred times cooler than Kirk (Jay Baruchel). TJ Miller plays one of Kirk’s best friends (Stainer), all of whom work for the TSA in various capacities. Apparently Stainer during the early years developed trouble keeping his tighty whities dry. Additionally, he is an egomaniac, immature, and and looks like Ryan Reynolds only Irish and with curly hair. Mike Vogel plays the Master Yoda of dating, the Steve Stiffler of style and the runway air traffic controller you hope to never run into. Nate Torrence is Devon (a unisex name). Devon shaves testicles and feels macho in the process. He is married and still flirts dangerously on Facebook. I hate Facebook. Lindsay Sloan is Marnie, Kirk’s ex-girlfriend who desperately wants him back once he starts dating a beautiful woman. She is typical and predicable. The ultimate way to punish an ex-girlfriend is to date someone (plural people!!!) hotter. Krysten Ritter plays Molly’s best friend Patty. She is hilarious. Nobody plays a total and complete uber-bitch better than her. She could win the bitch of the year award just for making facial expressions. She is priceless.
Kirk and Molly have so much in common except she is afraid of losing a man because of her beauty and he is terrified of losing a woman because of his ordinariness. They are a match made in heaven but their pathway to bliss is complete hell. Their time together is spent doing the weirdest activities I have seen since childhood. The setting of the movie is Pittsburgh and hockey predominantly factors into the show. My favorite moment is when she is riding him (dry humping) and goes too fast. He orgasms on his pants the instant her parents arrive home. Rather than shake her father’s hand and reveal his jism, Kirk allows her dog to lick off the manjuice. Let me just tell you folks, we have all been there! Any teenage guy with an active social life has seen his fair share of stained khaki pants. That is why we discover denim.
She’s Out Of My League is about the twists and turns of Kirk’s courtship of Molly. It is mostly a failure because of his rabid insecurity. Even so, he is incredibly sweet and honest. He loses her so many times it is hard to keep track of their on and off relationship. Nevertheless we always route for these two unlikely lovebirds and those of us dating more attractive women breathe a sigh of relief that this movie is finally out for everyone to see. A final note, this picture is as aforesaid completely embarrassing. It is a gem of humiliation. It takes a long time for the characters to become likeable but when they do look out, the laughs will come like snowflakes hitting your naked eyes. Oh, and go Penguins!
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