Box Office Numbers

$103.0MMarvel's The Avengers
$29.6MDark Shadows
$5.8MThink Like a Man
$4.5MThe Hunger Games
$4.1MThe Lucky One
As of May 14, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

 A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

Hot Tub Time Machine

Hot Tub Time Machine is the funniest movie that has come out this decade! I really mean that. What a ragtag band of comedians; John Cusack, Rob Corddry, Craig Robinson, and Clark Duke are amazing together. They are hilarious because they play off of one another’s abilities. This film is like Ski School redux, I think it is my new favorite 80s movie!

     When the movie opens each character is introduced. All four of these former best friends are living life the miserable way. Nick (Craig Robinson from "The Office") is an overweight former singer turned married and broken pooper scooper groomer (no, really that is his job). Adam (John Cusack) is a middle aged never married selfish jerk. He attributes all of the misfortune in his life to a break up that occurred twenty years earlier. Lou (Rob Corddry) is a single, lonely, immature failure. Lou is in the process of committing suicide via carbon monoxide poisoning. Finally, the fourth fixture is Jacob (Clark Duke), an obese twenty year old living with his Uncle Adam playing video games 24-7 without any hint of a social life. When Lou winds up in the hospital all three friends and Jacob wind up together again after so many years of drifting apart. Still maintaining a shred of decency and friendship, Adam and Nick volunteer to take Lou on vacation to their old stomping grounds, a ski resort. Yes, there are Better Off Dead references and there is a ton of cocaine.

     At the lodge all four undress for the Jacuzzi that is magically fixed just hours after being empty and having a dead animal rotting away inside. Nothing like a little carrion to start your day! Rob Corddry has a hairy back and a hairy ass. John Cusack shows his better half/nether region twice. Thank god we never see Clark Duke naked as I am not even sure a hooker would want to go there. Craig Robinson is the one who utters "I think it’s some kind of hot tub time machine". Every word out of his mouth is funny. There are three black comedians who are widely respected for their humor. Chris Rock is occasionally humorous, Tracy Morgan tries harder than Elvis on a toilet and yet never lands on planet funny ever, and Craig Robinson is flat out hysterical. While in the hot tub, our four nudey boys are whisked away after their illegal Red Bull substitute short circuits the controls. They are brought back to 1986 for Winterfest and to relive critical moments in their lives. Cusack, Robinson and Corddry are unleashed in all of their beautiful humor while Duke suddenly becomes a royal dick and spews out nastiness constantly. He is a real drag on the film and serves no real purpose other than to be annoying.

     All four agree that they want to do things differently as their younger selves but they are afraid of messing up the space-time-continuum even though their lives in the future completely suck. In 1986 Cusack is supposed to break up with his dream girl, the one that "got away". In return she is supposed to stab him in the eye with a fork, spork, or some form of utensil. This happens but he also meets the woman of his dreams and finds out more than he bargained for about that crucial turn of events. In a bitter yet comforting twist of fate Corddry is apparently Duke’s father after sleeping with Cusack’s prurient (slutty) sister. He must conceive Duke before time runs out. Robinson needs to sing his heart out just in case he never has another chance. Duke simply needs to not un-conceive himself, if such a concept exists. To this extent he is vexing as can be to all three adults.

     It would be hard to fathom this movie being funnier. The humor is never forced, the lines are like Jackie Mason meets Rodney Dangerfield and they have a love child who attended the John Stewart school of funny. There is nothing too raunchy, over-the-top, or embarrassing here, everything goes and these are just the actors to deliver the goods. It is about time we see John Cusack going back in time literally and figuratively. He defined the 80s in many ways and deserves a chance to remind us of his relevance and his ability to make moviegoers happy. Hot Tub Time Machine is a throwback to a better time, and a reminder that we all want to go back and do it all over again. Alas, that cannot ever be. This is why we have an imagination and we are not afraid to use it. Good times people, good times.

Miscellaneous Notes:

-Duke is so good at playing the cool guy who happens to be surprisingly ugly. Playing the reverse role does not suit him well at all.

-Craig Robinson is getting funnier. He has transitioned nicely into movies. He needs to move on from sitcom acting.

-Chevy Chase has tried to make dozens of comebacks. Unfortunately like in every other instance, he is pathetic here. For the life of me I cannot reason if he is a bitter old alcoholic who drank away his talent or if his humor is simply from another time and another place. Give up trying though.

-Lizzy Caplan who plays Cusack’s dream woman has a romantic nonchalance that comes across as touching and as really hot. It is pure 80s baby.

-The sound track for the most part stayed 80s and that made Hot Tub Time Machine seem authentic to the period.

-This is a break out role for Rob Corddry but where does a comedian go after proving he is really, really funny? On a sidenote, he really does look like Stewie from "Family Guy".

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