Date Night stars Sarah Palin’s nemesis Tina Fey and the buffoonish but lovable Steve Carell. Carell’s staples are Anchorman, Forty Year Old Virgin, and the hit sitcom "The Office." Both actors are around the same age and make the transition to being married with children as seamless as can be expected. There is naturally nothing comical about the plain Fey, but with Carell at her side the script makes Date Night a comedy smash hit.

     There is only one major problem with Date Night and it is glaring. While the comedy is present at all times, and there are some classic one-lines "ohh no he turned the gun sideways! Killshot! That’s a killshot!", the movie itself is awful if not totally meaningless. There are movie stars and there are sitcom actors. This is for a clear reason. Movies are the alternative to watching the same boring T.V. shows repeatedly. We watch them to feel special, to have relief and enjoyment for 90-120 minutes. Sitcoms are full of slapstick and buffoonery that is as inane as it is forgettable. Tina Fey may be loved as an "SNL" character and Steve Carell may be hilariously embarrassing in "The Office" but as movie stars they bring nothing to the field except for stale comedy and bad acting skills.

     The premise is one of the most templative in modern memory. Carell and Fey are married with children. Their best friends are divorcing because the wife wants a triple play gang bang and the husband finds her to be a nagging bore (got originality?). This startles our cute couple who rely on routine and a date night every week to "get through" their ordinary marriage. Normally, even on their date night, both order the same dishes and venture to unspectacular local restaurants. After learning a quick and perhaps unsettling lesson from their friends, Carell decides to bring his wife into Manhattan for a wild date night to reignite the passion lost in Fey’s saliva filled retainer of sexlessness. Frankly, and call me libidinous, when I hear about couples having sex once a month or even once a week I cannot help but wonder when marriage turned into a synonym for castration.

     Once in Manhattan at an exclusive restaurant, our anxious couple find that reservations help people get into the most fancy restaurants in the City on a Friday night. While this might spell disappointment for most, Carell turns that frown up side down and pretends to be the absent Triplehorns in order to score a table. The instant they finish laughing and worrying about their social transgression, a team of hitmen show up, escort them outside and confront them in the alleyway. Apparently the Triplehorns are involved with a mafia crime syndicate and are wanted by their henchmen. The alleyway scene is hilarious because Carell has a natural comical ability.

     Miraculously the couple manages to escape the killers and so begins a slapstick filled chase. They quickly realize their kids could be a target and decide they must see the incident through to the end. The killers demanded a flash drive the alley. This encourages Carell and Fey to find help. The first person they go to is a former "client" of Fey’s, played by Marc Wahlberg. Marky Mark is not ordinarily known for his comedy, the other actors’ reactions to his incredible physique are hilarious. His primary role is to perform espionage activities with his shirt off. It just so happens Mr. Wahlberg has a nine and a half pack. Even more impressive is his chin lift, but that is standard protocol in the business. I too could possess a six pack if I were to stop eating at Steak and Shake and switch to Half Foods. As an international James bond type, Wahlberg is able to track down the Triplehorns and he distracts the killers. It turns out the killers are dirty cops who have connections to the District Attorney’s office which is influenced by the mob. This is really a lot to swallow for a boring couple from the suburbs.

     One other plotline tidbit is worth mentioning. James Franco and the luscious Mila Kunis play the Triplehorns. They are comedy gold together although most of America feels jealous of Franco! They are the real Triplehorns (which is an alias!) and the possessors of the flashdrive with the secrets of the crooked District Attorney.

     The script for this picture is second to none. The comedy scenes would make Chevy Chase and Rodney Dangerfield proud. Having said that, the movie itself is as lame and boring as Mom and Dad Save the World. If you have never watched that movie please rent it IMMEDIATELY. It is quite possibly the worst movie of all time but it is worth seeing to understand the difference between what is a winner and what is a surefire loser. Date Night simply packs no punch. A movie needs to be like Manny Pacquiao not like his opponents. It will make you laugh for sure but shouldn’t a movie have both a substantive plot and have a purpose? This is a two hour long sitcom that would make for a fine DVD night but does not really belong in a movie theater.