Reality

Written by Jonathan Jacobs

Reality is one of the finest films ever produced. It offers a little of everything and a lot of what is most essential. The three principal characters are hysterical and their reactions to tragic occurrences are priceless. If you are looking for a movie that will blow your mind and or knock your precious socks off Reality is just what the general practitioner ordered.

     Joaquin Phoenix stars as Simon, a lonely animal lover who occasionally (all of the time) dabbles in sniffing drugs. That is until one day his dog Mania licks some of his cocaine. At first Mania looks funny, her teeth are all showing. Slowly but surely she starts barking loudly and uncontrollably. Then, just after Simon brings her into his 350Z, she has a heart attack. He is forever distraught. His judgment is clouded. Frankly, he does not know what to do with the body. An autopsy would reveal a drug overdose and would expose him to possible criminal liability. On the other hand Simon’s sadness over Mania’s death cripples him with guilt and remorse. After hours of indecision he decides to throw his dog into highway traffic to make her death look like an accident. That, or to have her body carom across i95 and become massacred beyond recognition. While hours before he vowed never to sniff any upper again but Elmer’s Glue, he is so upset he snorts too much cocaine. Simon has a coronary and drives off the highway onto a vacant side street. The airbag deploys. He survives. I will not spoil the aftermath.

     Character #2 is played by Hayden Christensen (Albert Fox). Albert finds his mother sleeping with both of his best friends. He walks in on her being double penetrated and screaming her head off. In the span of an instant he considered three possible courses of action. Course one is to assault and beat the life out of the defenseless guys with erections and to catch them confused. Option number two is to scream obscenities until they leave. Option three is to never speak to his mother again. He chooses course 4; taking a digital photo to blackmail her with. For months she gives him every dime she has weaseled out of his father Marshall. Marshall is a playboy with more money than God. He refuses to give his leaching son Albert a nickel. Rather than get a job Albert prefers to enjoy the mansion and the cars even if at a minimum. Eventually his mother refuses to give him any more money. He clicks the mouse and presto she is on Youtube! Usually his friends would find their conquests impressive. In this case they are mortified as their girlfriends see what happened and both sleep with Albert out of revenge on separate nights without knowing the actions of the other. Everybody gets screwed!

     Finally we have character 3 Ben Stiller (Michael Andrews). Michael is a thirty seven year old aspiring actor who has never achieved anything other than one annoying deodorant commercial he has been telling people about for 16 years. Michael finally auditions well and is perfect for the part of wingman Jackie Mitchell, an alcohol abusing womanizer who pops Percocet for breakfast. An hour before the actors start filming their pilot he has a heart attack on the toilet. A member of the paparazzi following around film star turned sitcom actor Troy Demanche goes to the bathroom rand finds Michael passed out. He quickly takes several photos and then calls an ambulance. Filming begins, Michael is replaced and loses his dream job. He vows revenge.

     Reality is one of those movies you would never expect to be made because of how raunchy and predictable it is. Even so it possesses a nonchalance and charm that few comedy films do. It is also surprisingly suspenseful which makes for a good show. Preferably watch this late night and be sure to pay attention to the R rating as there is nudity and many of the medical scenes are graphic. Suggestive humor from "Monty Python" this is not. This is a full on naked comedy assault.