| $ | 103.0M | Marvel's The Avengers |
| $ | 29.6M | Dark Shadows |
| $ | 5.8M | Think Like a Man |
| $ | 4.5M | The Hunger Games |
| $ | 4.1M | The Lucky One |
| As of May 14, 2012 | ||
A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.
Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!
Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?
J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.
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Teamwork is everything, especially in police work. There are two pairings of detectives and some brilliant supporting cast members that make The Other Guys a memorable police comedy-drama. Marc Wahlberg and Will Ferrell play off one another’s strengths and weaknesses brilliantly but the real stars of the show are The Rock and Samuel L. Jackson.
Detectives P.K. Highsmith (Jackson) and Christopher Danson (Johnson) are superhero cops. They performs stunts that are not only death-defying, they are freaking hilarious. Noted already for over-the-top antics, Jackson and Johnson are the perfect partners; brash, cocky, arrogant, and completely self-absorbed. They make excellent law enforcement superheroes. Danson is even dating Kim Kardashian (but then again who isn’t?). Languishing in the background are Detectives Allen Gamble (Ferrell) and Terry Hoitz (Wahlberg).
Allen is a droll accountant happy remaining in the safe confines of the police department, wishing to never see any real action in the field. He is brilliant with numbers, internal investigations and acting like a straight-edge do-gooder. Terry meanwhile sits across from him and has a vicious Napoleon complex. He throws temper tantrums every five minutes, give or take a few seconds. Had he not accidentally shot Derek Jeter in the leg he would have become the hotshot hero on the force. Instead he is forced into shameful opprobrium and is not allowed to perform external investigations. Both men are frustrated with each others’ antics and they desperately want something to change.
Their chance to shine like a kaleidoscopic rainbow comes when Highsmith and Hanson are poised to stop another major crime in progress. They announce their mutual intention to jump from a twenty story high building’s roof into the safety of nearby shrubbery to catch up with the escaping villains. Well, sorry to ruin the surprise but they jump…and they explode on the pavement. Apparently they became delusional with visions of self-grandeur and they both developed a complex delusional sense of their own gravitational defying powers. This is not before they surprise us with profanity-laden tirades and stunts the likes of which audiences have never before seen. In Step Up 3D scrawny losers jump through hot dog carts. In The Other Guys muscular detectives drive cars through exploding buildings. Slight differences that you might notice if you are paying attention.
Once the two hotshots are out of the picture Proctor and Gamble, oops that is a toiletries company. Once the two hotshots are out of commission Hoitz and Gamble are free to explore their inner and outer cop. Unfortunately Gamble loathes the very thought of leaving his comfortable accountant’s chair and through the power of peer pressure he even manages to get his firearm taken away by the Captain (a much older and much funnier Michael Keaton). In lieu of the pistol the Captain gives him a wooden gun without bullets. When captured by the enemy at several points his gun is polished with linoleum lol. It takes a major push from his partner and some rather damning evidence (at least superficially) to drag this stiff out of his comfort zone. It would be a low-down dirty shame not to mention Gamble is married to Dr. Sheila, a gorgeous Latina woman with massive round breasts (not being perverted, it is the focus of the cameraman sundry times). Sheila is played by the eye-candylicious Eva Mendes who needs to find herself a serious role before her looks get stale. Women swoon over Gamble much to Hoitz’ dismay and bewilderment. This makes for great comedy. It is always the quiet ones that are the biggest studs. Man I talk too much.
Detective Hoitz has anger management issues. He believes he should be the top cop in town, not the showboating punks or rivals such as Fosse (Damon Wayans, Jr.) and Martin (Rob Riggle). He and Gamble are constantly teased by their coworkers vying for position at the top of the food chain. On top of having a self-destructive attitude, Hoitz also has girlfriend issues. She is a ballet dancer and his jealousy causes embarrassing outbursts directed at her. The one priority in his life is police work.
The focus of Gamble and Hoitz’ investigation is David Ershon (Steve Coogan). Apparently Ershon is broke and has made several small investments totaling 32 billion that have gone bankrupt. The downside is he used money from pockets of scoundrels and international murderers. Easy mistake, everyone makes them. In order to distract the detectives from uncovering the truth of his scheme to defraud a new investor, he offers them tickets to the Knicks-Celtics game and to the Jersey Boys on Broadway. Will Ferrell has an abnormal obsession with including show tunes in his comedy routine. It is really funny but also really strange.
Somehow, someway these two numbskull detectives manage to become best friends despite their obvious and growing differences, and they manage to work well together. Unfortunately Hoitz never stops pining after Sheila but we can all understand his motivation. Ferrell and Wahlberg play off each other smoothly. Supporting cast members Wayans, Jr., Coogan, and Mendes help their comedy shtick along the way but they are a damned funny pairing. There is no getting around how well they work together. They play their normal characters (albeit Ferrell is rather muted compared to some of his efforts such as the outspoken Jackie Moon in Semi-Pro) and play off one another to our laughter’s delight. The Other Guys is a movie you will never see coming. It is a high-profile thriller and comedy show that will offer a high-adrenaline substitute for Folger’s any morning, or afternoon or evening. I love it and I am almost certain you will too.
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