Easy A

Written by Jonathan Jacobs

Easy A is a wonderful DVD movie that I watched at the theater. Emma Stone who plays Olive is a quirky, entertaining, and personality rich actress. Given a humorous storyline in which Olive is a high school virgin on the cusp of adult womanhood, and is poised to have a sexual revolution, but is suddenly condemned to remain a virgin while suffering the indignity of tweenager gossip and slander, it is hard to imagine Easy A (run-on sentences notwithstanding) not being a cult classic. So, how can I effortlessly recognize Easy A as a movie better suited for a DVD and an HD TV near you than for a movie theater? Because it also stars Amanda Bynes. Enough said.

     What better way is there to commence a review than to tarnish the reputation of the real life actress that portrays a young woman (Marianne) desirous of ruining the social life of an innocent classmate (Olive)? Bynes’ films are snoozers. Not sleepers, but soporific messes. Between her pumpkinesque rotund face and prudish antics it is easy to let her fade into retirement at the age of 24. She not spoiled Easy A by setting its humor and edginess back to the 1980s. Onward to the breach (the storyline) dear readers.  

     Easy A begins with Olive teetering on the brink of losing her virginity at some undetermined and unplanned time in the near to distant future. In other words her sexual providence is nebulous at best. Her best friend Rhiannon (Alyson Michalka) continuously encourages her to begin a sexual relationship. Facing the prospect of traveling with Rhia and her family on a peculiar family excursion, Olive makes up a tall tale about having a date with a college boy to remove herself from the godawful plans. The following Monday when Rhia interrogates her friend about her date, it is implied she had sexual contact and Rhia uses her teenybopper imagination. With a little prompting from Olive, Rhia invents her friend’s whole weekend as a sexual affair for the ages. Even worse, in traditional high school fashion, one person (Marianne) overhears this succulent morsel and gossips to the entire school about Olive’s alleged debauchery. Marianne for her part is dating a 21 year old boy/man (Cam Gigandet) that cannot seem to pass the high school equivalency test. We later find out this is because he is nailing a teacher or an employee of the institution of higher Christian learning. For some reason Cam has lost about 50 pounds of muscle for this role which did not require any major metamorphosis.

     Once Marianne spreads the rumor, Olive is instantly deemed the school slut, a point not lost on her favorite teacher Mr. Griffith (Thomas Hayden Church) or her classmates that are studying Nathaniel Hawthorne’s The Scarlet Letter. The backdrop for much of the humor in Easy A is high school English literature (believe me, if I were convinced today’s mush-minds could read more than the Spark Notes I would return to teaching immediately). Feeling the pressure and the increased scrutiny of her every move, Olive begins dressing provocatively and sutures a scarlet colored letter A onto her dresses. I think embroidery is so sexy. Slowly but surely teenage boys come out of the woodwork (gay, straight, overweight, Lesbian with a capital L) to offer the new sex star a proposition. Olive agrees to pretend to make the beast with two backs (anyone remember Othello people???) with students in desperate need of a reputation enhancement in exchange for gift cards. This furthers her social demise as a terrible coquette, loosely mirroring Hester Prynne of course. The only knightly boy that believes she is innocent is “Woodchuck” Todd (Penn Badgley from John Tucker Must Die and The Stepfather). Todd sees through the façade and refuses to paint Olive in the light of a slut. For this he is later amply rewarded, with a motherly kiss (Lame!).

     Eventually everything unravels for Olive despite the support of her hilariously insane parents (played by Stanley Tucci and Nicki Tyler Flynn). When her best friend refuses to believe her, changes must be made. Olive makes a much needed confession broadcast over the world wide web (invented by Al Gore (anyone want to buy the Brooklyn Bridge?)). The resolution dissolves the marriage of two school employees and enlightens those anxious to cast the first stones.

     A few final notes and a pronouncement are forthcoming. First, casting mid-twenties actors as 17 year olds is huge mistake. I realize “90210” liked to do that and worse but I prefer my high schoolers to look like teenagers, not like Ph.D. students or med students. There is simply no cadence when the actors are blatantly too old to for the premise. Do I want Wilford Brimley to start as James Bond? Of course not. I simply want him to encourage me to eat a healthy breakfast and to keep the Amish employed by growing or sowing their oats. Also, to hearken back to a previous statement, Amanda Bynes has never developed her skills beyond that of portraying a snobby teenage girl full of spite and pettiness. What a girl wants is to act more, but what a girl needs is acting lessons. On the flipside, Emma Stone is very talented. She may look ordinary when juxtaposed with Jessica Alba but she has twice the talent of Angelina Jolie and her career is just beginning. Thomas Hayden Church is fabulous here, though Cam Gigandet surprisingly looks brutally out of place. Easy A is mildly funny, somewhat entertaining, and it offers witty banter when needed the most. As I wrote before, it is perfect for a DVD night. Of course as always, take my review with a grain of Kosher salt.