Hall Pass with Owen Wilson

Written by Jonathan Jacobs

Owen Wilson is back… and he is going to Applebees? Owen, if you want to munch on some tacos at least pony up 89 cents for Taco Bell! They serve 34-83% beef, you never know what you’re gonna get. His newest foray into acting is called Hall Pass. This picture reminds me of a college student’s research paper. In other words, it is all over the place. Meandering comedy may be hysterical but it is unsustainable and ultimately devoid of meaning. Hall Pass is not without its special moments. I am proud to say that I have been inducted into the fake box munching fraternity. Personally, I believe I deserve to be in the hall of fame. If you have no idea what I am talking about then please watch this film and thank me later for adding to the value of the comedy.

Rick (Wilson) and Maggie (Jenna Fischer from “The Office”) seem so happy…except for their constant marital strife and bickering. Maggie is despondent because her husband does not listen to every word she says and does not memorize her thoughts for future reference and character adaptation. Rick loves his wife, but he feels sexually neglected, and for good reason. Their best friends Fred (Jason Sudeikis) and Grace (Christina Applegate) are not without their own problems.

Grace and Maggie have taken offense to their husbands looking at other women. Apparently, men are supposed to be mentally castrated when they marry. In this case may I suggest the teste tuck is a state of mind more so than a physical contortion? Both ladies devise a plan with the help of their older, fatter, and hideous loudmouth friend (played by the absolutely disgusting Joy Behar). You can put lipstick on a hog...but she will still snort. Grace and Maggie have decided to mandate their husbands take a 7 day hall pass. This means they can lie, cheat, steal and butcher for seven days without consequences. Nonsense, there are always consequences men!

In case some of you are still wondering, the first 25-30 minutes of Hall Pass should have been edited out. They are totally useless and lack substance. This film is poorly cast and none of the actors mesh well together. It is like putting Celine Dion side-by-side with Rihanna for a romantic duet. For the first five or so days (each day begins with a “Law and Order””sound byte which adds substantially to the comedy) Rick and Fred eat and drink themselves into an absolute stupor. Their days are filled with golf and pot brownies and a delightful assortment of “what the deuce” jokes. Due to their hesitance to meet women their friends have abandoned them mid-hall pass! While they are busy acting like lazy slobs on spring break, their ladies are becoming involved in their own right. Apparently Grace and Maggie forced a hall pass on their husbands while motivated by their own cravings for pleasure and debauchery.

While the ladies are busy canoodling the baseball team (one of whom looks like Jacob from Twilight and is an even bigger retard if that is possible), their men are feeling lonely and pathetic. Their luck changes when the clubmaster himself, Coakley (Richard Jenkins) comes back into town. While clubbing, Rick runs into his babysitter who wants to have a fling, and his buxomly crush Leigh (Nicki Whelan) from the coffee shop. At this point both couples begin going into full on orgy mode. I will not spoil the ending, but I will say beware of psycho Brent (he looks and sounds like a sexually frustrated Bud Bundy)!

Hall Pass is frequently crude, vulgar and absurd to the point of being obnoxious. Then again, I confess to having laughed hysterically on sundry occasions throughout the film. Frankly, the casting is way off. None of the actors seem to be on the same page at the same time and I could never envision any of them being together in real life. Jenna Fischer is a horrible actress that needs to be a role player in a sitcom or be prepared to face blistering criticism. She sounds like Watson on “Jeopardy” reading a cue card. Jason Sudeikis is the antithesis of funny. He is fed some classic lines but if Ed Helms had played this role instead I would be laughing uncontrollably for weeks on end. Overall, Hall Pass is like the marriage of the good, the bad, and the dreadfully ugly. From moment to moment you never know which spouse will show up.

Jonathan Jacobs

Member Florida Film Critics Circle

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