Box Office Numbers

$103.0MMarvel's The Avengers
$29.6MDark Shadows
$5.8MThink Like a Man
$4.5MThe Hunger Games
$4.1MThe Lucky One
As of May 14, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

 A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

Batman: The Dark Knight

At the risk of earning the hatred of my dedicated readers, Batman: The Dark Knight will never be half the film the first installment is. First the flaws, and then we can enjoy the brighter side of tragic irony…

       Each scene in this film is far too abrupt and dare I say 10 seconds short of meaningful. Surprisingly this movie commands an array of megastars who somehow seem all too typecast and subdued in their respective roles. Morgan Freeman’s character is a liberal moralist half of the time, and a supporter of a billionaire do-gooder vigilante who causes mass urban destruction the other half of the time. Michael Caine’s latest performance as Alfred lacks the sentimentality and true feeling that made him so perfect for the role in the first place. Gary Oldman as the future Commissioner Gordon loses the appeal of the one true officer ready to overlook ostensible vigilante behavior, and instead becomes dark and compromising himself. Christian Bale looks noticeably thin and lacking in his prior Batman caliber muscularity. This is the price of shooting several films simultaneously, not all of which require a hulk as the Batman. Maggie Gyllenhaal is a marginal improvement over Katie Holmes, but still seems out of her league when set against both talented veteran and up-and-coming actors.

       Aaron Eckhart is a godsend of an actor. He is versatile, charismatic, not too metro and not too stern. His pizzazz and screen presence is a sight to behold. Heath Ledger’s performance seems to be a scintillating combination of Nicholson's characters from The Shining, One Flew Over the Cuckoo’s Nest, and Batman. There is truly nothing cooler than an intelligent villain whose villainy makes sense. Ledger’s makeup and profound voice, and savage brutality make for the ride of a lifetime. He simply steals the show and leaves such a void when gone that the ending of the film Peter’s out quickly and unmercifully. The Joker is a legitimate villain, at once indefatigable in his efforts to wreak havoc, and ingenius in his explanations and motivations. If his fate is what it takes to become a god among actors, that truly explains why so many frivolous actors are prospering with millions of undeserved dollars.

       Christian Bale is welcome to continue as Batman, but next time he requires muscle, at least a slight sign of legitimate vulnerability, and some emotion. His performance is a little stiff, and his enthusiasm seems lacking. Also, a note to Christopher Nolan: Do not give Batman a deep husky voice as though he is talking to Scarecrow for 30 minutes and then revert back to normal for the remainder of the film. That aside, Bale does contribute to more than enough amazing action scenes involving truck explosions, tip-overs, and un-Batman-like brutality in the interrogation room. After the ambiguous interrogation It almost seems as though he deserved the punishments doled out by the Joker.

       Finally, Ledger's makeup and constant use of his tongue to coat the facial scars really make for one disgusting sight. This is all part of the character and to his great testament, the reason why we have come to love him all over again, if for the very last time. What a true tragedy for fans of actors that actually make us give a shit.

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