Box Office Numbers

$103.0MMarvel's The Avengers
$29.6MDark Shadows
$5.8MThink Like a Man
$4.5MThe Hunger Games
$4.1MThe Lucky One
As of May 14, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

 A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

Alice in Wonderland Starring Johnny Depp

I have read two classics that have been transformed into animated films and the results could not be more opposite. The first is Carlo Collodi’s "Pinocchio". It is entirely entertaining, enjoyable and it reads like an "Aesop’s Fable" turned into a much larger story. The written work is a classic, whereas all of the Pinocchio film and cartoon adaptations have been failures. Lewis Carroll’s "Alice in Wonderland" meanwhile is so difficult to read and understand that I felt bitter and disappointed every time I gave it a try. I reluctantly agreed to watch the movie Alice in Wonderland only because it is in Disney Digital 3D. Unlike the written work, the movie is dazzling and full of life and adventure.

     Perhaps someday we will uncover the hidden motivation behind Johnny Depp’s decision to play lunatic fringe characters. Would the answer satiate our craving for an insider’s secret? Rather than wonder forever if he is somewhat estranged from reality, or just a man who loves an unusual challenge, we need only to evaluate his results. As the Mad Hatter Depp is not really noticeably Depp, instead he is simply the character through and through. This goes beyond full immersion and reaches the level of pure expertise. The real star however is not Helena Bonham Carter (the Red Queen), or Anne Hathaway (the White Queen) or even the droll Alan Rickman (the Blue Caterpillar), it is Mia Wasikowska. As Alice, she is nothing short of genius. She gives us a reason to care and takes away all hints of childishness or craziness that are present in the written story. Mia mixes together youthful indecision with a taste for exotic adventure.

As Alice, Mia is before and after the excursion in a logjam. She is asked to marry an affluent Lord simply to provide for her widowed mother. Rather than face the proverbial music, she is guided by a rabbit to a nearby tree where she falls thousands of feet into "Wonderland". One could argue from the movie adaptation that Wonderland is a metaphor for entering adulthood, but despite the parlor tricks, and the imaginative scenery, this feels like as real a place as anywhere else. Director Tim Burton is known for his overactive imagination and is known to have a taste for all things strange. This turns some people off and makes others glued to their seats with crazy glue. In Wonderland Alice is faced with choices that closely mimic her real life predicaments. It is her courage and lust for saving everyone and everything that makes her character so rich and compelling.

The storyline is what it is, and although the film has enhancements and twists that the novel does not, it is still basically unchanged. Having said that, this is a critical analysis, not a plot summary. The actors and actresses all perform admirably and leave no hint of their real life personas on screen. They are simply real characters completely convinced of themselves despite being in a fictional never before seen world. In 3D Wonderland comes alive as a real place that we can wrap our hands around. It is not as frivolous as Narnia, nor as simple as Metro City. Wonderland is its own entity. Tim Burton and his star Mia Wasikowska have given audiences exactly what they pay for and so rarely receive, an escape. This is an escape into a world that is not terrifying or unpredictable, it is a world full of unique characters and dreams. It is a vision come alive and a glorious one at that. All of my expectations have been dashed to the wall and I am left to clean up the mess. A wonderful chaos to be sure.

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