| $ | 103.0M | Marvel's The Avengers |
| $ | 29.6M | Dark Shadows |
| $ | 5.8M | Think Like a Man |
| $ | 4.5M | The Hunger Games |
| $ | 4.1M | The Lucky One |
| As of May 14, 2012 | ||
A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.
Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!
Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?
J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.
Read more...Chinese choreographed martial arts films are indisputably the best. The Karate Kid 2010 is worlds better than the original. Whereas the teachings of mentor to student have transformed and the players have most certainly changed, this new version is everything fans could hope for and more. This review is being co-written between myself and Screen Spotlight editor Charmaine Saratan. Charmaine is a martial arts expert and a sensei with a background in both Tae Kwon Do, and Aikido. She has advised me on several important aspects of the film we will go over during the course of this review. Ha Jime!
In the beginning Jaden Smith (Dre Parker, our new "karate kid") has been forced to move to China with his mother on account of an economic downturn in Detroit, Michigan. For some uncanny reason his mother has decided to accept a job relocation in Beijing, China. Our bratty and frightened twelve year old Dre is inexperienced in any form of fighting. He relies on quickness and instinct but has no technique to speak of and very little defense. His first social act in China is to play basketball and ping pong with the locals and then he flirts with co-star Wenwen Han (Meiying). Seeing a foreigner flirt with a classmate, several of the teens take exception and challenge Dre to a fight. He foolishly accepts without understanding he is outclassed and in serious trouble. Zhiheng Wang (Cheng) and his friends obliterate Dre and make him look like a complete fool. The apartment where he and his mother live in has a handyman Mr. Han who handles all of the issues that come up (Jackie Chan). Mr. Han notices Dre’s predicament and decides against his better judgment to teach him "the real kung fu". This is where I will heavily rely on Charmaine’s expertise to diagnose the quality of the action.
First of all, Kung Fu is a Chinese martial art. Then how is it Jaden Smith is the "Karate Kid" when karate originated in Japan? We need to overlook this even though Pat Morita (Mr. Miagi) was Japanese and taught Daniel-san karate. Smith is the karate kid in namesake for brand recognition. Jackie Chan is a world expert in Kung Fu and Wushu and is Chinese. Naturally he teaches Smith kung fu. Based on the timeline of the film Dre trains for a mere month or two with Mr. Han. He is entered into a serious tournament where he competes with lifelong local teen martial artists. His opponents have been studying since the age of three and have mastered various martial arts. Dre has never faced an opponent in combat and has practiced for a mere fraction of the time put in by his challengers. In real life his chances of victory would be 0.0%. Those are not good odds Vegas. Clearly Smith trained for a long time and looks competent. For those unaware of Asian martial arts Smith looks great. Those who know better disagree and question the validity of Smith’s victories against far better opponents. Obviously similar lessons are taught to Smith as had been taught to the golden boy Ralph Macchio. These teachings include honorability, patience, responsibility, perseverance, and most importantly respect. Many of the destructive lines uttered by Daniel-san’s rival sensei’s are uttered near the end to Dre’s opponents. The parallels clearly show the level of respect for the original film and that is always a welcome gesture.
The cinematography is wonderful for those of us unfamiliar with China and Chinese monuments or landscape. We are given a tour of the Forbidden City, the Olympic village where the 2008 Summer Olympics were held, and the Great Wall of China among others. It is refreshing to have a movie shot on set with the utmost care and dedication to the culture and nation being represented.
There are some hilarious scenes that will keep audiences laughing and cheering. The first lessons Dre learned were actually the same lesson, jacket on and jacket off! This is of course a mimic of wax on and wax off! Those of us with a perverted sense of humour understand don’t we? Dre’s girlfriend Meiying shows him much of China and involves him, albeit accidentally, in a kiss during a puppet show that is heart-warming. Nothing about their relationship is probable or culturally acceptable in China but this is the movie business and I am not a fact checker for works of fiction. Meiying is an expert at playing the violin and that is very romantic. It is an instrument I relate to on many levels. During the tournament victory blows are replayed on the big screen at the auditorium and points are added. It is like the mini-YouTube with free cameos and funny expressions. I could not help but to relate it to Bloodsport with Jean Claude Van Damn's character fighting against Kung Li.
So overall, without recounting the entire story and emotional melodrama brought to the picture by Chan’s mentoring/fatherly character, the real question is what do I think about the film? This is what readers and the studio want to know. I anticipated it would be distasteful and disastrous to be honest with you. The sound track is a mess including artists such as Lady Gaga and John Mayer. Just what the hell their music is doing in a movie about kung fu set in China is a mystery to me. The scenery is perfect, I really love being taken on an adventure to a nation I have yet to really discover. The acting will grow on you. Smith starts out weakly and diffidently but grows into the role as time passes. The dialogue mostly sucks except for Jackie Chan’s humor and charisma. He is the perfect choice to revive the karate kid concept. He is charming, funny and most of all dangerous! He steals the show from everyone else leaving them behind in the dust storm. It must be tough being the son of a celebrity but Jaden Smith looks like his father and tries to act like him too…he is just not quite there yet. He may be another Shia LaBeouf but will fans like him as much? The Karate Kid is as good a start as any.
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