| $ | 103.0M | Marvel's The Avengers |
| $ | 29.6M | Dark Shadows |
| $ | 5.8M | Think Like a Man |
| $ | 4.5M | The Hunger Games |
| $ | 4.1M | The Lucky One |
| As of May 14, 2012 | ||
A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.
Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!
Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?
J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.
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There are two actors worth paying attention to in Knight and Day and they are Tom Cruise and Cameron Diaz. Everybody else is extraneous at best and a nuisance at worst. Yes I am looking at you Peter Sarsgaard. Is there any actor who is as grotesquely inadequate as Sarsgaard that has received so much praise from off-the-wall critics? This is a rhetorical question people! Despite the announcement that Knight and Day is off to a slow start at the box office the studio (New Regency Pictures) has no reason to be alarmed. The film is intense and the acting is superb.
Tom Cruise plays former FBI agent Roy Miller. Roy has gone rogue on account of what he perceives to be corruption within the agency. He fears his old partner (Sarsgaard) is interested in stealing the technology commandeered by the FBI from their physicist in protection, Paul Feck (Paul Dano). Meanwhile, Cameron Diaz’s role is that of the all-American blond sweetheart June Havens who has a sweet tooth for 1960s Pontiacs. Essentially she is once again America’s darling. Who plays this role better than her? An ostensible happenstance brings the two together at the airport when our movie commences. Roy twice bumps into June. Later we discover that he used her to smuggle in a battery that is the center of attention throughout. This battery is the size of a AA and has been engineered by the physicist in custody. It is capable of powering a small city indefinitely, a sort of power source in perpetuity if you will. For obvious reasons this interests arms dealers and black market thugs of all varieties. Roy rescues and protects Feck and has been harboring him for weeks against the express wishes of the FBI and internal security. Now that the premise has been established let’s return to the action because there is plenty of it. Roy warns June not to board the airplane but the FBI calls in a favor and she is brought onboard to his chagrin. They strike up a conversation and it seems they have a great deal in common. Both are brave and impulsive and most importantly incredibly sexy. For a 38 year old woman Diaz has a ravishing body and her eyes are penetrating. I hate to sound curious but being a lifelong Tom Cruise fan, can anyone deny his hotness? The guy looks half his age, has a six pack at 47 and by all appearances will never act in a movie without at least one trademark running sequence. June excuses herself to the restroom to freshen up and decide how to pursue Roy. While she is beautifying Roy is busy assassinating about 8 passengers and both pilots. His fighting skills are badass. When June is finished Roy is waiting for her with two cocktails that they enjoy. He gently breaks the news to her that the pilots are dead as are all of the passengers that were assassins themselves. Talk about turbulence in the airways! The entire sequence of events is hilarious and the chemistry between our two megastars is palpable. Meanwhile Roy decides to land the plane in what can only be described as the set to the movie Signs. Just kidding, it is a regular crop acreage with a few scarecrows, wow they frightened me! You directors you! This is the first time when Roy begins protecting June. This is a recurrent theme throughout the movie. All of his actions are selfless and courageous but June continues to harbor doubts about his authenticity. He is a trained killer and therefore her suspicions are understandable. The other action chains include several exhilarating car chases, an attempted murder onboard a high speed train, a motorcycle chase with bulls attacking, rooftop jumping, machine gun shootouts, bombings, coed half naked swimming and a diner shooting that caused only a flesh wound so it is all good! Roy never intends to hurt anyone unless absolutely necessary. He is a phenomenal secret agent with special skills that make him for the most part invulnerable. His only weakness is his willingness to be a sacrificial lamb to protect his friends. As the film progresses Roy and June are in and out of love and trust. She causes his island to be firebombed due to her distrust. He superficially is in collusion with an arms dealer to sell the battery he has sworn to protect. Appearances are always deceiving here. All the while Roy is a romantic who loves his parents and he falls madly in love with June. Their romantic connection is really sweet. Not for a moment does Knight and Day pretend to be a James Bond film. It is simply an action film with the greatest actor of his generation (Tom Cruise) and one of the best leading ladies in Hollywood (Cameron Diaz). For all of the flak this picture has taken from smug critics it is any wonder the studio will turn a profit at all. I love Adam Sandler movies people but for my money I want to watch hot stars in a blazing action movie that truly belongs as a summer release (double entendre). Go see Knight and Day without any reservations, no really, do not call ahead just go to the theater!
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