Box Office Numbers

$103.0MMarvel's The Avengers
$29.6MDark Shadows
$5.8MThink Like a Man
$4.5MThe Hunger Games
$4.1MThe Lucky One
As of May 14, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

 A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

M. Night Shyamalan’s The Last Airbender in 3D

Shyamalan is notable for his concept films. In The Happening botanical life and Mother Nature decide that humans tamper with the natural cycle of the environment and therefore they must be eradicated. Humans are infected with toxins and commit suicide en masse. In Signs with Mel Gibson alien invaders signal their attack with crop symbols in the middle of nowhere. Ironically the film went nowhere. If critics are to be believed (and they almost never are) Shyamalan's latest incarnation The Last Airbender should be his last. From my point of view moviefans that have watched The Last Airbender for better or for worse are invested and should see the series through to the end.

     This picture has more sieves and loopholes than a World Cup soccer referee. The protagonist is The Avatar (a deity that has descended to earth in the embodiment of a human) Aang (Noah Ringer), a young boy facing a myriad of challenges. For nearly a century he suffered imprisonment in ice as a sort of cryogenic freezing. He never aged a day and upon awakening does not realize he has been missing from the world. He is unlocked from his imprisonment by two young water benders Katara (Nicola Peltz) and Sokka (Jackson Rathbone). Both are compassionate benders whose village is teetering on the brink of destruction. Since the disappearance of the line of the avatar(s) the balance of power in the mythical world has drastically shifted away from the forces of good. The firebenders are now in control and their element is the most powerful. How it survives against being extinguished by water or blocked by earth or cast aside by air is never fully explained. For the purposes of the storyline and presumably making this a trilogy we must put aside our movie-going incredulousness and accept the story for what it is.

     Immediately upon awakening the avatar’s magical adventure begins. His character is what makes the movie compelling and awfully simplistic at the same time. Aang refuses to deliberately harm anyone. This does not mean that he cannot interfere in battles or fight an opponent by temporarily beating him, but he is for the most part incapable of killing. Faced with dire circumstances and the near death of his companions his refusal to kill is both counterintuitive and counterproductive. He is an expert in several Shaolin and Tai Chi forms but mostly he serves humanity with airbending. Having escaped his destiny as the next avatar, Aang never received training in the other three forms of bending. This film is mostly about his learning to bend water. The journey climaxes when he creates thousand foot high tidal waves.

     Along the journey Katara, Sokka and Aang liberate villages from the captivity effected by the tyrannical firebenders. Their strategy in the absence of the avatar has been to imprison and contain all other benders so as to leave their people defenseless. Their enemies are ubiquitous. Prince Zuko (Dev Patel) and his uncle Iroh (Shaun Toub) have charged themselves with capturing the last airbender to redeem themselves in the eyes of the Fire Lord Ozai (Cliff Curtis). During their sojourn to capture Aang, the Prince and the former General/Uncle realize their battle is not only an uphill one, it is a foolhardy errand. The Fire Lord is corrupt and savage and is willing through his chief soldier/liaison Commander Zhao (Aasif Mandvi) to disrupt the natural balance of the world’s elements to expand his power.

     Near the finale Sokka is forced to watch the life force seemingly extinguish from his puppy love mate the attractive Princess Yue (Seychelle Gabriel). Somehow after helping save the order of the waterbenders in the frigid glacier region, her goodness is stripped away and she becomes an agent of evil for the Fire Lord. There is significant character growth throughout the film. The identities of each cog are revealed as pertains to the overall mechanism as imagined by Shyamalan.

     What are we to make of such a hodgepodge of actors and storylines comingled together? For starters the 109 minute film feels like a three hour expedition but not in a tedious way. Shyamalan may have invented something lasting here. The special effects in 3D have made me crave for the second generation of the series. I am curious to find out what happens in chapter 2 when our young hero learns to control the earth as a bender. Much of the movie is poorly acted and is cheesy but the scenery and the effects are more than enough to overcome those obvious deficits. The Last Airbender is neither terrible nor is it extraordinary but it is a start. Let’s reserve full judgment until Shyamalan has had the chance to finish what he has started.

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