Box Office Numbers

$103.0MMarvel's The Avengers
$29.6MDark Shadows
$5.8MThink Like a Man
$4.5MThe Hunger Games
$4.1MThe Lucky One
As of May 14, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

 A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

Resident Evil: Afterlife

Resident Evil 4 is Darwinism in 3D. Darwin was right, only the fittest survive. Thank goodness Milla Jovovich and Ali Larter are in peak physical shape! Not since Enron and Haliburton has there been a corporate entity as perfidious as the Umbrella Corporation. It proved to be a masterstroke to include Ali Larter in the fourth installment of the video game series turned film franchise. Having two leading ladies kicking tukas this close to Rosh Hashanah is surely a blessing in disguise.

The best part of Resident Evil: Afterlife is its attention to the series’ history. While Alice (Jovovich) and the Umbrella Corporation have been the bricks and mortar of the four movies, bringing back characters from the past offers a brilliant tie in to entice fans of the original Resident Evil. Chris (Wentworth Miller) and Claire Redfield (Larter) return to join Alice in a nick of time. She has a new lease on life provided by her Umbrella counterpart Albert (Shawn Roberts). After dozens of T-Virus and satellite enhanced Claire clones invade the subterranean branch of the Tokyo Umbrella facility, only Albert is able to escape. In the process he detonates the entire compound and in the process all of the Claire weapons. Once onboard a massive and fully-armored helicopter-airplane hybrid, Albert is seemingly home free…until Alice appears furtively and points a gun at his skull. In the blink of an eye he pounds a syringe into her jugular containing a new serum designed to neutralize her special abilities. Essentially he turns her into a normal person once again. She is once again the original Alice. Alice escapes believing Albert has plummeted to a fiery death.

Our heroine spends months searching for any survivors. The plant looks empty but pristine and preserved. A broadcast recording takes her to Alaska where her old friend Claire (the original) emerges. Unfortunately Claire has been ephemerally brain-blocked (her memories are inaccessible). Gradually traces of past memories return. The two leading ladies venture for Hollywood for a fly-by. They discover millions of mindless zombies waiting to sate their cravings. Cannibalism in the year 3012 is so the new veganism. Noticing survivors on the rooftop of an abandoned prison, Alice and Claire miraculously and perhaps ill-advisedly land their two passenger propeller plane on top. It is there the story really begins.

In addition to meeting the able-bodied but diverse group of survivors, we discover Claire’s brother Chris is alive and being held captive. We also find out that the Acadia referred to in the broadcast about shelter, food and infection-free safety is a massive ship off the coast of California and not a town in Alaska. The namesake is just a coincidence. In the prison fortress the newly invigorated group decides to escape to the ship by any means necessary. This is where the action becomes intense.

Afterlife was shot utilizing James Cameron’s state of the art 3D camera technology. The stabs, piercings, bullet wounds, blood spurts and Matrix-esque bullet dodgings are simply incredible. Many of the scenes are futuristic and graphically ingenious. There are so many images to marvel at and countless action sequences to absorb our attention it proved difficult for me to isolate any one component or scene to focus on for this review. Larter and Jovovich make a great team. While it is not within my right to reveal which characters live or die I will say that Resident Evil 5 is in the works and it will be another three dimensional bonanza!

One final word; I love the employment of dogs from the first Resident Evil with a new twist, they have the Reaper virus from Blade 2! Poor doggies. They made me happy I decided against adopting a golden retriever/Rotweiler combo. It might have eaten the mailman and that is a federal offense (though no more so than not showing a full Jovovich shower scene)! In the words of the great Looney Toons, “that’s all folks!”

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