| $ | 103.0M | Marvel's The Avengers |
| $ | 29.6M | Dark Shadows |
| $ | 5.8M | Think Like a Man |
| $ | 4.5M | The Hunger Games |
| $ | 4.1M | The Lucky One |
| As of May 14, 2012 | ||
A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.
Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!
Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?
J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.
Read more...Jake Gyllenhaal is magnificent in Prince of Persia. The film is a mixture of equal parts Scorpion King, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and The Mummy. Fortunately for moviegoers and enthusiasts, Jake Gyllenhaal has matured into a balanced actor. He is sort of the anti-melodramatic character. At all times he is cool, composed and cogent, the three C’s of acting. Although I missed Prince of Persia at the summer screening I feel thankful for waiting for the Blu-ray screening copy provided by Walt Disney. Read more to find out why.
The introduction to Walt Disney Blu-ray movies is optimally enhanced. The fireworks seem like a prelude to some prodigious celebration. Disney films seem to have at least one thread unifying them; they all have non-stop light-hearted action. Prince of Persia is no exception. There is not a moment devoid of a plot revelation or a battle scene. The adopted Prince Dastan (Gyllenhaal) is as agile and dexterous as any carnivalesque warrior could ever hope to attain. As a teenager he demonstrated some degree of prowess in front of the King of Persia (Ronald Pickup). In a moment of extempore King Sharaman adopts the boy to be a prince in his royal retinue. Dastan’s brothers Garsiv (Toby Kebbell) and Tus (Richard Coyle) are the heirs to the throne and both are eager for attaining power. The three brothers are best friends but they are led astray but their machinating Uncle Nizam (Ben Kingsley). Nizam has been resentful of his brother, the King, since childhood when he found out Sharaman would be first in line to be ruler. So begins a malicious scheme (years in the making) to dethrone the King, prevent the brothers from having been born and turning back the sands of time to a critical moment in their childhood. Nizam wants to prevent himself from saving Sharaman from a predatorial lion.
In order to cause this evil twist of fate to occur Nizam advises his nephews to invade the Holy city of Alamut. When the invasion is about to get underway Dastan nobly leaps into action and paves the way for an easy victory. Once safely inside the conquered city, his father offers him the city’s Princess Tamina (Gemma Arteton) as his first wife. In exchange the adopted Prince offers his father a sacred robe of prayer on behalf of his brother. Once the King wears the robe he is poisoned and scarred terribly. It is obvious to everyone witnessing the affair that Dastan is a power-hungry murderer that has committed patricide in cold blood. He escapes and so begins a pursuit that endures for the majority of this action packed blockbuster.
Once Prince Dastan has escaped the confines of Alamut he is confronted by the Princess. Apparently she covets the dagger Dastan unearthed during the invasion of the city. We come to find out the dagger has mystical properties. It contains the legendary “sands of time” that if used for the wrong purpose may cause the annihilation of all of mankind. Trading insults, barbs and near fatal situations, Dastan and Tamina slowly warm to one another. It is almost as though they are destined to be together (an ironic statement given the ending). During their time running away from the King’s army in the desert, they come across Sheik Amar (Alfred Molina). Amar is a slave trader and an ostrich racer. He loves them as pets (the ostriches, not the slaves!). This adds a light, comical tone. Amar and his followers gradually take a liking to the Prince and become his helpers in living his destiny.
No matter what trouble Dastan and Tamina encounter they are able to rely on the divine dagger to bring them back 60 seconds in time to relive and correct their mistakes, or the deaths of those most important to them. In the end we discover the sands and the secrets to the dagger lie buried beneath Alamut.
Prince of Persia: The Sands of Time is not without some cosmetic blemishes. The actors speak with English accents rather than with Mediterranean dialects. Almost everyone appears to be Caucasian despite the film’s exaggerated Persian overtones. If I were to identify one other complaint it would be the city’s underworld full of fire and flame. In high definition the imagery or CGI is stunning but completely unbelievable. If this picture were not so overwhelmingly fun and airy I might expound on this grumble, but it would only distract from my obvious attempt to praise nearly everything about it. Jake Gyllenhaal has taken the leap from puerile teenage angst to the full onset of adulthood acting. He is phenomenal. His poise is going to be legendary. In Prince he is always even keel and never histrionic. The entire production from start to finish is a glorious HD experience. I highly recommend it.
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