Box Office Numbers

$103.0MMarvel's The Avengers
$29.6MDark Shadows
$5.8MThink Like a Man
$4.5MThe Hunger Games
$4.1MThe Lucky One
As of May 14, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

 A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

Once Upon a Time in China 3

Fist of Legend may be Jet Li’s most notable film, but in order to truly grasp the overtones of his movies one must retrospectively watch some of his original work. There is no film more emblematic of the martial artist’s inveterate devotion to Chinese tradition and morality than the Once Upon a Time in China series (there were six films made altogether). Of the six films produced, Once Upon a time in China 3 is by far and away my favorite and I would argue it is the best. Brilliantly, and refreshingly, the film series never became stale. Every chapter offers a new story while maintaining the majority of the same actors and always presents the star of the show, Master Wong Fei-Hung (Jet Li).

Master Wong is no ordinary martial artist. He is indefatigable, invincible, and for the most part invulnerable. At all times he maintains his courage, integrity, equanimity, and honor. As a man of peace, Wong Fei-Hung must expend a great deal of time calming the bellicose urges of his devoted followers. The master always preaches the motto that kung fu is for individual power and honor and should never be used except during exigent circumstances. His values are uncompromising, and why should the Master ever have to kowtow to anyone with his “shadowless” kick always on the ready?

As Once Upon a Time in China 3 begins the Dowager Empress of China is consulting with her Prime Minister. The two leaders are plotting to sow the seeds of dissent among the foreign powers by carving up spheres of influence on the coastline of China. As a show of strength, they have invited a demonstration of China’s ability to defend herself. This exhibition will be the traditional Lion Dance featuring all of the Kung Fu Associations and their masters.

Wong Fei-Hung returns to the Cantonese Association to bring his father Wong Kei-Ying (Lau Shun) some wonderful news. He is to be married to a beautiful, educated and delightful young woman, nicknamed “Aunt 13”. However, it takes some time for Master Wong to confess to his father his romantic intentions toward Siu Kwan (Rosamund Kwan). This fumbling and stalling brings a dozen awkward situations all of which are quirky and charming. The master’s visit is not without its pitfalls however.

China is changing along with the world and the major powers are seeking influence on the mainland. China’s Kung Fu Associations (all of which are financially grounded by modernization and industrial developments) as busy fighting amongst themselves. Master Wong returns home just after the Cantonese Association (in control of a pharmacy mill powered by a steam engine) has been attacked by rival s Chiu Tin-Bak (Chiu Chin) and his disciple whose alias is Clubfoot (Hung Yan-yan). As with most of Master Wong’s rivals, Chiu laughs incessantly and is devilishly provocative. His goal is to cause a rift between the Kung Fu Associations so that his group (heavily invested in oil) may seize power in the resulting vacuum. Clubfoot utilizes his legs to perfection and is a dangerous opponent even for Wong Fei-Hung.

The romance between Master Wong and Aunt 13 is rather topsy-turvy. They are always planning to make their relationship public but circumstances beyond their control seem to intervene at just the right moments. The master is upset with her relationship with fellow classmate Tomanovsky (John Wakefield). Tomanovsky continues to shower Siu Kwan with gifts and Wong is to blame for refusing to reveal the nature of his relationship with her. Tomanovsky is always meddling and persistently courts her. They share a common education and an understanding of world affairs. Master Wong is rather backward compared to Tomanovsky but he possesses something the gaijin never will, a sense of ironclad honor. While Wong is busy fighting battles against Chiu Tin-Bak’s warriors, Tomanovsky is encroaching on his fiancée. It is pure coincidence that one of Tomanovsky’s gifts to Siu Kwan (a video recorder) reveals his involvement in a plot to assassinate the Prime Minister.

The best scenes Once Upon a Time in China 3 offers are worth highlighting to whet your appetites. Clubfoot suffers a nearly crippling leg injury while chasing one of the Cantonese Association’s disciples. Horses trample on his leg which becomes mangled. When Clubfoot returns to his Association, he is mocked and labeled a useless cripple. Master Wong patiently offers to help his former rival in his greatest hour of need, and this is the essence of who he is. Forgiveness and redemption are two of the traditional themes omnipresent in this film series. When invited to dinner with Chiu Tin-Bak, Master Wong bravely goes alone. He avoids being poisoned and then must fight off attackers throwing axes at him while slipping and sliding on an oiled floor. Despite being limited in movement, Master Wong dismantles his attackers and escaped in one of the more incredible sequences ever choreographed. Near the beginning of the film Master Wong disarmed two entire Associations fighting in the middle of the street with only his jacket. He wants the Chinese people to conduct themselves with civility and honor. Finally, I would be foolish for not mentioning the lion dancing. It is magnificent. I love when martial artists contort their bodies while heaving around massive costumes and still managing to be combative at the same time. This takes expert skill and years of dedication to master. The pace is frenetic.

Once Upon a Time in China 3 is every bit as good as its predecessors. If you are not familiar with martial arts films, I encourage you to watch at least one of these six movies. Each one offers a unique plot with death defying stunts. Jet Li and his cohorts are nothing short of amazing.

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