Box Office Numbers

$103.0MMarvel's The Avengers
$29.6MDark Shadows
$5.8MThink Like a Man
$4.5MThe Hunger Games
$4.1MThe Lucky One
As of May 14, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

 A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

Read more...

Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader

The Chronicles of Narnia: The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is far and away my favorite film of the Narnia trilogy. C.S. Lewis masterfully continued his Narnia novels by marginalizing the older original characters, Peter and Susan, to make room for Lucy “(Georgie Henley) and Edmund (Skandar Keynes) Pevensie, and their vexing cousin, Eustace (Will Poulter). Feeling bored with their confinement, and depressed by the War, Lucy and Edmund begin reminiscing about their adventures in Narnia. Edmund is depressed because in the “real” world, he is an ordinary boy, while in Narnia, he is a King of Kings (sorry Percy B. Shelley; I am a devotee of “Ozymandias”). Meanwhile, Lucy notices their painting looks suspiciously familiar. While trying to unravel the mystery of the undulating canvas, Eustace enters the room. Eustace is a feckless, freckled, spoiled, young English brat full of scorn and spite for his overly-imaginative cousins. The Voyage of the Dawn Treader is as much Eustace’s tale of entering manhood as it is anyone’s.

Suddenly, and without warning (or a wardrobe), the watery contents of their painting inundate the locked bedroom, and all three or the main characters are carried away by the Narnian currents. Fortunately, the ship Lucy noticed moving in the painting turns out to be the royal vessel belonging to now King Caspian (Ben Barnes). Once rescued from the water, Lucy, Edmund and Eustace are brought aboard the Dawn Treader. It turns out that since they left, Prince Caspian and his armies have secured most of Narnia for a reign of peace and prosperity, thus officially making Caspian their king. All that remains is for Caspian to reach beyond Narnia to free slaves, explore new lands, and to unite the entire world (as he knows it). Having Lucy and Edmund return is a boon and a threat, all at once. There are many temptations they will have to face, and new challenges they will need to overcome in order to help Caspian.

Onboard the Dawn Treader is a stout Minotaur, a sword-wielding mouse, a stern captain, and a host of other mythical and magical creatures. Without them, the Dawn Treader and its many adventures would not succeed. Caspian’s first stop is to an ostensibly abandoned island. Once inside the eerily quiet main compound Caspian, Lucy, Eustace, and Edmund are attacked and imprisoned. Once incarcerated, by coincidence, Caspian and Edmund meet an old Narnian and friend of Aslan (the eminent Liam Neeson). The beaten and forlorn Lord explains to Caspian his quest to restore order by bringing the seven swords of Aslan to the table at the lion’s fortress; only then could all of Narnia and the surrounding lands finally be united and safe. The Dawn Treader’s crew rescues our mainstays so they may follow the Lord’s quest with the aid of his sword, one of the seven necessary to activate Aslan’s magic.

Rather than parroting Lewis’ novel, it is better for readers to enjoy a highlight reel of sorts to whet their appetites for this picture. As with any naval voyage, there are sea monsters that may very well jump out of the screen and bite audiences! Eustace is transmutated into a scaly fire-breathing dragon; it is as a dragon that his character ceases to be a whiny impediment, and becomes a heroic warrior. The kingdom of Aslan is beautiful, albeit an awful lot like the Round Table from Arthurian legends. The most satisfying visuals occur when the maligned green mist looks into the minds of our protagonists to detect their fears and make them a reality. So much of this adventure is about temptation and suspicion. The White Witch’s (Tilda Swinton) likeness often reappears to torment and tempt Edmund to betray Caspian and to become her king. The White Witch even offers Edmund a Turkish breakfast (I mean Turkish Delight) to sweeten the deal. The treasures that Edmund and Eustace are offered are boundless and magnificent. I myself would venture to Narnia to extract billions of dollars worth of gold artifacts. But alas, nobody is allowed to remove possessions from Narnia.

If I was obliged to complain about The Voyage of the Dawn Treader, I would proffer two comments; the first is about the lack of danger faced by the lead characters, and the second is about the Jesus Christ overtones supplied by Aslan. Despite the many perils Lucy, Edmund, Eustace and Caspian, face their lives never seem to be threatened; their survival is an almost foregone conclusion. This drains any suspense, but it does lend to the experience of enjoying The Chronicles of Narnia in 3D. Although the 3D effects are not groundbreaking, they are a perfect complement to the action onscreen. The stunts and special effects are bolstered by the 3D element. It is revealed at the end that Aslan is really Jesus Christ, and that which lies beyond his kingdom is heaven. To quote Hamlet, it is “The undiscovered country from whose bourn no traveler returns”. I have read about Lewis’ predilection with apocalyptic theology, but this is a bit much for a young adult’s film. Overall, despite harboring reservations about Eustace, Director Michael Apted beautifully teases out his growth as a person. Eustace begins as a wise-acre naysayer, yet turns out to be a real mensch. The growth of the characters is everything to the franchise, especially if we are in store for a fourth adventure. I say bring it on, just please, forget about the second film, as it is a snooze fest. Pardon my snoring and enjoy the show.

Local Movietimes

Enter Zip Code

Movie Trailers

Like us on Facebook



SCREENMEDIA Jonathan A Jacobs Photography Florida Micro Wushu Movies Wushu Movies Wushu Movies

Copyright © 2010 Screen Media, Inc. All rights reserved. Privacy Policy
Certain product data © 2010-present Screen Media, Inc. For personal use only. All rights reserved.

Powered by SantosSystems