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The Mechanic

Written by Jonathan Jacobs

The Mechanic starts off innocently enough...with a murder! The "mechanic" (Jason Statham as Arthur Bishop)) murders a drug lord by concealing himself beneath the cartel leader in his opulent pool. Once he suffocates the leader, the mechanic paddles the dead man's arms to appear as though he has not drowned. When the guards discover the floating carcass, the assassin is already dressed, disguised as a house servant and leaves without a trace. We next follow him to New Orleans where he procures an exotic harlot in a Louisiana bayou bar. They have rumpus sex where we are privy to her distinguished half-size bottom with a twist (an enormous euphemism for a terrific little tukas). The plot thickens when the mechanic prepares to accept and engineer a new assignment. He peruses the Kansas Klassifieds and finds an ad under "Mechanic Needed" only to discover the next target is his usual employer and long time friend, Harry McKenna (the elderly Donald Sutherland).

Rather than allow another assassin the contract, Arthur decides to eliminate his friend as a sort of courtesy and indication of inveterate respect. In order to achieve the objective, he convinces Harry he is under attack and causes the building's cameras to malfunction. In the parking lot the two have a moment of understanding and mutual respect. Arthur pulls the trigger and his mentor is effectively disappeared.

In the aftermath of the assassination, Arthur is approached at the burial grounds by Harry's unwitting son Steve (Ben Foster). Steve is a chronic bungler and cannot hold a job. He has a vast criminal record including charges of assault, and in some cases, battery against women. In other words he is a real stand up guy! Feeling nostalgic or letting his conscience overwhelm his sense of reason, Arthur takes the young flunky on as his apprentice.

Whereas Arthur is the ultimate chessmaster, Steve cannot do anything according to design. He insists on circumventing the rules and this nearly gets him killed on his first assignment. He does manage to murder a 6'7" homosexual man that is from a rival agency, but he has to endure a brawl lasting nearly a hundred body blows first. On their second job together, Steve's carelessness causes their targets to discover their presence and all hell breaks loose with a gunfight reminiscent of the O.K. Corral (had that incident occurred in a hotel suite!)

The first issue I take with The Mechanic is the music is romantic or Mission Impossible at the exact incorrect moments. The second fault I have found is Ben Foster looks too much the part of the drug-abusing criminal/fool. He blends in so well that his character earns no sympathy. He is quite simply despicable and a heinous woman beater. Moreover, the script for this film is a rip off of Brett Battles' novel The Cleaner, only it is not 1/10th as exciting or as sensical. Jason Statham is a wonderful martial arts movie star but a terrible romantic figure. Sitting in front of a fireplace after killing somebody does not make him reflective or charmante, instead it causes him to appear murderous and slick. Overall, The Mechanic is a pedestrian Transporter in that it portrays Statham as a virtual contract killer and semi-heroic do-gooder but this time it is in all the wrong ways. D-.