| $ | 55.6M | Marvel's The Avengers |
| $ | 25.5M | Battleship |
| $ | 17.4M | The Dictator |
| $ | 12.5M | Dark Shadows |
| $ | 10.5M | What to Expect When You're Expecting |
| As of May 21, 2012 | ||
A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.
Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!
Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?
J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.
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Summer time is upon us for the long winter is over. What does this mean for vacationing students and teachers and movie enthusiasts alike? It is time for summer blockbusters to make their cameo appearances. On the docket us the final Harry Potter, Super 8, Transformers 2, the Green Hornet, and the final Twilight (part 1/2). Before these action and special effects driven cluster-messes take our collective breath away, why not slow down and enjoy that which has always captured my interest, a storyline. These days storylines in big budget films are the stuff of mythology. Director Matthew Vaughn has decided to offer moviegoers something leagues better than special effects piled as high as a mountain, a superhero film told as a marvelous story/novelesque tale. X-Men: First Class is infinitely better than I predicted it would be, and held my interest for 132 dazzling minutes.
It is no wonder this re-installment of X-Men is so enjoyable. James McAvoy and Michael Fassbender star as Professor Charles Xavier and Erik Lehnsherr (Magneto) respectively. This X-Men story in a sense hits the reset button and offers fans an intimate glimpse of the beginnings of mutant societies and even more importantly, it shows how key allegiances were formed. Normally I feel skepticism when any film harkens back to WWII and Jewish ghettos or concentration camps, but it is critical to do so in order for the psychology of Magneto to come to life. As a young boy, Erik and his parents were collected into a Polish ghetto. When Erik's parents were shepherded away, he moved the ghetto gates with the power of his mutated mind. This captured the attention of a Nazi scientist/doctor (a prototype of Dr. Josef Mengele, the nicknamed "doctor of death"). Sebastian Shaw (Kevin Bacon) placed a young Erik in an impossible catch-22 situation. He demanded the young boy demonstrate his power to move metal or his mother would be summarily executed before his very eyes. Try as Erik did, the Nazi coin would not budge so Shaw shot his mother in cold blood. This enraged Erik and unleashed how powers in a wild frenzy of destruction within the Nazi's laboratory. Once the war ended and as the years passed, Erik managed to survive as a guinea pig for Shaw and eventually sought vengeance on his captors. Erik became a sort of Simon Wiesenthal devotee (they hunted Nazis in South America). After vanquishing his enemies, Erik focused his sight on killing Shaw himself.
This brings us to another beginning, and one that is orchestrated with great attention to detail. As a young and affluent boy, Charles Xavier had very few friends. He could read and control minds but until a startling houseguest arrived, he did not realize that he would meet others of his kind. Raven (played by the jaw-dropping Jennifer Lawrence) appeared in his kitchen, transformatively (for she quickly turned blue and revealed herself to later be sobriqueted Mystique). They grew up together as best friends and constant allies. From time to time Raven would have to suffer Charles' physical revulsion to her true blue form and endure his sexual escapades while she sat idly by pining and green-eyed. Eventually, Charles became a traveling lecturer/professor and this garnered the attention of an FBI agent Moira MacTaggert (Rose Byrne).
Agent MacTaggert is a diehard do-gooder with a heart of gold. The same cannot be said for the majority of her cohorts, with the exception of the "Man In The Black Suit" (Oliver Platt). They both have the best of intentions for the mutants and construct devices to speed along their rescue and acquisition. Through a nearly fatal FBI operation, Charles and Raven and Erik become teammates of sorts. Charles begins massaging Erik's ego and reigning in his anger in an effort to help him channel his powers with greater results. Erik begins tampering with Raven's mind and suggests that she has no reason to transform for she is beautiful "as is" (like a foreclosure!). At the FBI base, Charles is given access to the first "Cerebro" in an effort to locate all of the mutants in the world. Several are collected and together a new team is forming with the intent of stopping Shaw who has gone rogue and begun a plan for the earth's nuclear destruction. We come to find out that Shaw's experiments on Erik's handcuffed body allowed him to become a mutant with the power of absorbing and unleashing infinite amounts of energy (specifically nuclear). Since this episode of X-Men occurs in the 1960s, the geopolitical focus is the Cuban Missile Crisis (specifically nuclear brinkmanship between Premier Khrushchev and President Kennedy).
Shaw has recruited maligned mutants. His criminal syndicate includes the devilish Azazel (Jason Flemyng), Riptide (Alex Gonzales) and Emma Frost (the sizzling Jennifer Jones who looks like a 1960s calendar girl). Charles' team includes Raven (now Mystique), Erik (now Magneto), Hank (a.k.a. "Beast"), Angel (Zoe Kravitz), Banshee (Caleb Landry Jones), and Havok (Lucas Till). Each possessed an incredible ability. Together they are unstoppable. Unfortunately in their quest to prevent Shaw from destroying the world, they are divided and some fall.
X-Men: First Class is just that, the best, top-notch. Fassbender and McAvoy are magic together. Their friendship ignited a war spanning generations of mutants. It is fun yet somehow excruciating to watch their inevitable split. Finding out how Magneto's helmet came to exist, or how Xavier's Cerebro started is all part of the fun. Why did out favorite characters choose sides, and how many shades of gray are there when a mutant chooses to rebel against humankind suffering from stubborn obsolescence? I encourage everyone to race to the theaters to enjoy this gem on the big screen (some screens are bigger than others to be sure!). Learn about the history of X-Men, and in doing so enjoy one hell of a story.
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