| $ | 55.6M | Marvel's The Avengers |
| $ | 25.5M | Battleship |
| $ | 17.4M | The Dictator |
| $ | 12.5M | Dark Shadows |
| $ | 10.5M | What to Expect When You're Expecting |
| As of May 21, 2012 | ||
A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.
Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!
Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?
J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.
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Legend of the Fist: The Return of Chen Zhen is directed by cinematographer/producer/director Andrew Lau. It is one of the finest martial arts movies ever produced. It covers a broad spectrum of emotions stemming from Chinese nationalist undercurrents. Donnie Yen (Chen Zhen) has become something more than a modern Bruce Lee because he is not only as gifted as the most famous martial artist of all time, he is also blessed with the benefit of all that modern cinematography has to offer. Legend of the Fist is scintillating in maximum Blu-ray high definition. Portraying 1920s China has never appeared to be so effortless. Yen has become a symbol for modern China. His films are a relic from the past that contain something modern America lacks in this day and age of class warfare and economic paralysis: national pride.
Seven years prior to the commencement of the film (1918), a group of 150,000 Chinese soldiers helped France push back the German onslaught during World War One. Despite being largely unrewarded and unheralded as a nation, Chen Zhen and his fierce group of warriors survived to cherish their experiences. Only one of their brothers died (the man Chen Zhen impersonates) on account of machine gun fire from a German pillbox/turret (a protected fortification utilized for arming and firing a weapon). Chen Zhen was presumed dead after returning home safely from the war.
Legend of the Fist is the continuation of Jet Li's sensational film Fist of Legend filmed back in 1994. Guarded for the time being under the presumption that he is dead, Chen Zhen is able to disguise himself as a local businessman from Shanghai. In reality he is a member of the Chinese intelligentsia that is resisting Japan's encroachment on mainland China. In order to conceal his identity and to gain the upper hand against the Japanese invaders, Chen Zhen befriends Master Liu (Anthony Wong Chou-sang), an affluent Chinese businessman, to become connected with the major players in Shanghai. He is so trustworthy and well liked that Master Liu appoints him club manager at the luxurious Casablanca (a wonderful throwback to Humphrey Bogart's renown night establishment). Being trampled on by international powers, the club is ripe with British, Japanese, French and other national styles of entertainment. This allows the club to become a hotbed for Japanese spies to infiltrate the upper echelons of Chinese society. Chen Zhen's nemesis is also his best friend, the delectable Japanese (disguised as a Chinese local nicknamed Kiki) singer (portrayed by actress Qi Shu).
In the previous storlyine, Chen Zhen defeated and killed the current Japanese commander's father (Ryu Kohata as Colonel Chikaraishi). From the beginning Colonel Chikaraishi suspects the club manager is more than he seems. His intuition and intelligence agents around the club confirm his suspicions. Not only is Chen Zhen involved in the upper echelons of China's resistance, he is also in love with a Japanese spy and being pursued by the Colonel. As if his life and responsibilities were not already complicated enough, Chen Zhen has been challenged by Colonel Chikairashi to save as many of the resistance intellectuals as possible before they are openly hung, slaughtered, shot, or covertly assassinated. All of the Colonel's actions are out in the open as the ultimate symbol of intimidation.
Meanwhile, China's two premier generals charged with defending the mainland and safeguarding her people are at loggerheads. Generals Zhou and Zhen are ready to demolish one another and this causes an unbridgeable rift that leads to China's demise in military stature and leadership. Locally in Shanghai, Chen Zhen and his friends are somewhat protected by the local police force, but even their influence is limited without their own extensive arsenal. Eventually, Chen Zhen is surrounded, captured and tortured. His sister is brutally raped by the colonel, and his military brothers are hung and their throats are slit. Even though he is rescued, so many have died and so much destruction has been wrought.
Legend of the Fist is one of the most patriotic movies I have even seen. The final scenes are a contrast between the spirit of the oppressed and the savageness of the oppressors. Chen Zhen is not a superhero in the supernatural sense, but he is a superman by virtue of his indomitable spirit. Donnie Yen emulates Bruce Lee so well I could hardly discern between one or the other. The final battle perfectly showcases shotokan against vet kundo. If there were a single conservative director with clout left in Hollywood we would be treated to these types of inspiring movies. Instead we are constantly taught that America is a rotten nation full of brutes, slave owners, racists, homophobes and barbarians. No wonder China is the fastest growing nation on the planet and the U.S. has no jobs, manufacturing industry or money in its treasury. All politics aside, Donnie Yen is a superstar in Asia, and if people in America are paying attention, he should be just as popular here too.
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