Box Office Numbers

$55.6MMarvel's The Avengers
$25.5MBattleship
$17.4MThe Dictator
$12.5MDark Shadows
$10.5MWhat to Expect When You're Expecting
As of May 21, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

 A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

Hanna the Movie

If the billboarded slate of movies debuting this weekend does not have the sizzle and spice you are accustomed to I recommend giving Hanna a look. She is one stone-cold feminist. Hanna is a trained assassin, fighter, escapist, and don't get me started on when she is menstruating, that could be a dangerous conversation! Hanna boasts an excellent cast that includes frequent Oscar contender Cate Blanchett, the hunky Eric Bana and a vicious Saoirse Ronan (star of The Lovely Bones). Together they produced a macabre dance worthy of an obstreperous laugh or a heart-pound of two. The action is fast and furious, and best of all, it presents a grand stage for women to prove their mettle.

Hanna (Ronan) had been raised by her father Erik (Eric) and has learned from her first cognitive awakening to be ready for any peril life will throw her way. The embryonic phase of the film showcases Hanna's training to be a hunter, practicing ninjitsu (the art of stealth), and learning how to appear innocent and vulnerable while in fact preparing for a deadly strike. Hanna is on the verge of becoming an adult, and after living in a Finlander forest for most of her secluded adolescence, she is ready to fulfill her destiny. The logical next step is to choose the moment when she would push the broadcast beacon and send a signal to CIA operative Marissa (Blanchett) who has a special connection with her. As Hanna prepares for her inescapable capture, Erik melts away into the forest to await his part in Hanna's ultimate mission. The stage is set for a vicious showdown.

Once in captivity at a European CIA facility, Agent Marissa watches as Hanna portrays herself as innocent and distraught, only to transform in the blink of an eye into a cold-blooded killer. Hanna manages a daring escape that requires intelligence, cunning, dexterity and incredible timing. This is what she has been trained to do her whole life. I found myself uncertain whether to laugh or to take Hanna seriously. There is something hysterical about watching a pristine teenage girl on the verge of womanhood obliterate professionally trained men.

So begins a chase from Finland to Morocco, and back to Germany. Hanna is at all times running for her life and expecting to reunite with her father. She anticipates she will find safety and happiness. Along the way our junior heroine encounters new types of people, makes new friends, experiences listening to music, watches television, and interacts with regular people for the first time. These are all dizzying stimuli at first. The world is not what she would want it to be, and that is why Erik trained her to have no hesitation in defending herself. Being mistrustful and having a sense of awareness at all times is her road to security.

At heart Hanna is the story of a genetically architected child that lived to the maximum of her surrogate father's expectations. On the flipside, she failed according to her would be taskmaster, Marissa. Hanna may have been trained to be a lethal killer, but the genetic experiment, or project Galinka, failed and left her with a beautiful heart and a normal amount of humanity. Marissa proves herself sadistic and heartless, while Erik spends years grooming Hanna to be both a weapon and a charming woman. The real story is how Hanna reacts to becoming part of the outside world away from her childhood shelter. Though often times dizzying and peculiar, Hanna has a deep sense of international intrigue. Though the ending of the film may be rather pointless and disappointing, it does not detract from the spectacle that is Hanna. This picture is a keeper for the weekend indeed.

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