| $ | 55.6M | Marvel's The Avengers |
| $ | 25.5M | Battleship |
| $ | 17.4M | The Dictator |
| $ | 12.5M | Dark Shadows |
| $ | 10.5M | What to Expect When You're Expecting |
| As of May 21, 2012 | ||
A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.
Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!
Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?
J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.
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Shaolin (Xin shao lin si) is a masterful Buddhist-inspired martial arts marathon. This is a film unlike any other. From the cinematography to the choreography to the acting, the direction, and the period appropriate setting, Shaolin is a movie to behold. Andy Lau and Jackie Chan, among other superb actors, have contributed a great deal of time to making this special film. Audiences are treated to yet another struggle between the antithetical forces of tradition and modernity, righteousness versus villainy, and nationalism pitted against greed. In the end lives will have crumbled, wars will have been waged, and perhaps most importantly, lessons will have been learned about the contrast between selfishness and humility that will last for a philosophical and theological eternity.
General Hou Jie (Andy Lau) and his little brother Cao Man (Nicholas Tse) are together conquering Chinese provinces. Their current target is Dengfeng, Henan. Anyone that stands in their way suffers swiftly and severely. Two worlds are colliding. As the action heats up General Jie shoots his escaping opponent Huo Long who has take refuge in the arms of Buddhist martial artists sworn to repudiate violence. Jie threatens the monks, and in a sense, causes himself great shame due to his petulant demands and impudent overreaction. This sets the stage for a future confrontation that will change the lives of everyone involved.
Behind the scenes, Cao Man is intent on coaxing his older brother into launching a preemptive strike against his sworn brother and future in-law, General Song Hu. Song Hu has arranged for Jie's daughter to be married to his son despite their extreme youth (they are only 6 years old). Fueling Jie's suspicions (aroused by Cao Man), General Hu has become demanding. He wants to share Dengfeng and the treasure recovered during the most recent military confrontation. Between all of the backdoor rigmarole and Hu's demands, General Jie orders his ally's assassination. Little does he realize Cao Man has devious plans of his own. Not only is General Hu killed, Jie himself along with his wife (played by Bingbing Fan) and precious daughter Shengnan (played by Xiaoliuna) are relentlessly pursued.
In the melee that follows General Jie's family escapes after crashing most of the horses in pursuit. This chase is action-packed and the choreography is daring. Stunningly, Jie and his daughter take a tumble over a steep cliff. Shengnan survives only because her father cradled her in his arms during the nasty tumble. After the enemy forces give up their search, Jie and his wife bring their daughter to the Buddhist Shaolin temple that they had in a sense desecrated earlier. They seek succor and medicine and ask for mercy and compassion. Shengnan dies a tragic death and in Jie's emotional uproar his wife leaves him forlorn. This begins Jie's conversion to Buddhism and to the way of the Shaolin monks.
Though reluctantly accepted by the Buddhists (they are hesitant on account of his past war-lording), Jie begins a new existence with the relatively pacifistic group. He learns how to create balance in his life, to ignore selfish impulses, to put avarice aside, and he comes to learn how to heal in order to survive the grief brought on by Shengnan's death. While learning Buddhist principles, Cao Man's nefarious activities antagonize the former general. Cao has allowed foreigners to build a railroad through Dengfeng, and in the process the wicked brother has conscripted innocent Buddhist villagers. Many of the villagers disappear because they have been executed or tortured. A showdown looms large on the horizon no matter how hard Jie tries to avoid further conflict or bloodshed. The question becomes: is Jie's story one of redemption and healing or is it meant to be one of tragedy and violence?
Shaolin tells the story of Buddhist devotion even in the face of death and mayhem. It is reminiscent of the Boxer Rebellion, a moment in Chinese history in which a band of Chinese traditionalists believed their martial arts cult of spirituality to be more powerful than modern weaponry. The consequences in both cases were dire. Jackie Chan's role is rather limited but he is his usual hilarious self. His cooking inspired martial arts stunts add humor to a dreary film riddled with destruction. Meanwhile, Andy Lau continues to prove himself to be more than Chow Yun-fat's sidekick. Lau is more than an expert fighter, he is an actor in earnest. He is perfect for heartrending roles in epic-style pictures. The entire supporting cast of monks steal the show with their compassion and choreography. The Shaolins pulled off some stunts with kendo sticks that I could never have imagined possible. They are truly innovative. It is prodigious that martial arts which has been around since the dawning of civilization continues to be adapted in visually dazzling ways. There are countless lessons to be derived from Shaolin about selflessness, morality, and inner peace. Buddhism is truly a fascinating religion and way of existence.
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