Box Office Numbers

$55.6MMarvel's The Avengers
$25.5MBattleship
$17.4MThe Dictator
$12.5MDark Shadows
$10.5MWhat to Expect When You're Expecting
As of May 21, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

 A man has broken the world record for fist pumping buy pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

Hugo a Martin Scorsese Film

In his twilight years Director Martin Scorsese is stretching the limits of mediocrity. While “Boardwalk Empire” is one of the most popular shows on television, his films leave something to be desired. His latest supposed mega-blockbuster is Hugo. Hugo is carved in the image of a Polar Express, a Catch Me if You Can, or even a high-tech David Copperfield. This picture is Marty Scorsese’s latest attempt at spawning a magical holiday film that will generate Oscar buzz. Regrettably, Hugo is like one of Shakespeare’s most recognizable plays, “Much Ado About Nothing”.

Scorsese appears to have a peculiar fascination with the early 1900s. First with “Boardwalk Empire”, and now with Hugo, he seems to be stuck in the past. During the 1930s an orphaned boy (Asa Butterfield as Hugo Cabret) lives in the clockwork at a Parisian train station that overlooks the Eiffel Tower. Hugo is a sweet boy that has suffered terrible hardships. Both of his caretakers have died; his father (Jude Law) in a flash fire, and his oft-inebriated Uncle Claude disappears (Ray Winstone). Hugo would have gone to an orphanage but he chose to remain at the train station where his Uncle always wound the clocks for a living. This provides a suitable refuge for the unprotected and unsupervised youngster. Hugo’s decision to remain behind is based on loyalty and nostalgia. Shortly preceding his father’s demise, Mr. Cabret had been working on restoring a pre-modern robot, or automaton to life. Since his father found the automaton to be special for reasons that are at first opaque, Hugo remains behind and dedicates himself to recalibrating the tin man. The significance of the robot will be revealed later in the film.

Being alone takes a toll on Hugo. He rarely has money for food or for clothing. His sustenance comes from the occasional theft of a hot meal, a croissant, a sweater, etc. His life consists of winding sundry clocks and pilfering the basic necessities to survive. To avoid being captured as it were, Hugo distances himself from the pesky station inspector (Sascha Baron Cohen). The inspector is relentless in his pursuit of stray children and vagabonds. Hugo walks a fine line when navigating his way through the terminal and shopping areas. Adding some measure of charm, the inspector is goofy, in love with a flower shopkeeper, and is intellectually idiotic.

It is not until Hugo is caught stealing by a station merchant (Ben Kingsley as George Méliès), that he finds exactly what he is looking for and craves. Mr. Méliès sells toys and novelty items that are windable, the same technology Hugo is familiar with as a chronometric specialist of sorts. Mr Méliès demands the young man work for him and seizes his notebook full of drawings. Noticeably distraught by the drawings it becomes clear there is more to the shopkeeper than meets the eye.

Hugo follows him home in hope of reclaiming his notebook. This is where and when he meets a total sweetheart, the merchant’s god-daughter Isabelle (Chloe Grace Moretz). Together they engage on sundry wonderful adventures. They become the best friends but there are so many complications given Hugo’s status as a homeless orphan and Isabelle’s current parental structure, that viewers can almost feel a hint of tragedy and disappointment from the start. There are some unexpected twists and turns awaiting our young adventurers and their families but those are for you to enjoy at the theater.

Hugo takes forever and a day to develop. Once it is in full motion and the plot points have been established nothing seems to connect. There is very little to point to that is capable of developing audience attachment or an emotional response of any kind. The film is bizarre and simply seems to be a herculean effort that crumbles before it blossoms. All of the archetypal holiday movie elements are present but any good chemist knows that they must be mixed properly to create anything worthwhile. Scorsese seems to have lost sight of what is crowd pleasing and what is flat out boring. The language appeals to avid readers but for general audiences it may be confusing. Sascha Baron Cohen’s performance is honestly somewhat creepy. Rather than being comical he seems to have gone overboard with his theatrics. Ben Kingsley’s role is limiting to his skill set and the children are sweet but dull. I regret writing it, but someone needs to say it, Hugo is mediocre even to the most ardent apologists. The film is a holiday loser.

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