Box Office Numbers

$55.6MMarvel's The Avengers
$25.5MBattleship
$17.4MThe Dictator
$12.5MDark Shadows
$10.5MWhat to Expect When You're Expecting
As of May 21, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

 

An office worker has been fired for her whistle, distracting nice boobs, figure and look at that...Maria Menounos gained 6 pounds on Dancing with the Has Beens. Kristen Stewart is number 15 on Maxim's 100 Hot List. I wonder how her acting ranks on the S*it List? These days Hugh Hefner spends more time in the kitchen than in the bedroom. John Mayer regrets dissing Jessica Simpson and Jen Aniston in interviews. We just regret John Mayer. Is Bar Rafaeli the hottest woman in the world? Dude, your girlfriend is the hottest woman in the world and don't you ever forget it! Justin Bieber is dating high school students? Man guys at that age are so impressionable. Kate Gosselin says she and Jon have made peace. Awww, that's special. Once their fame ran out they stopped cheating. That's really sweet. Why does Kelly Clarkson lose weight when she's only going to put it back on? Heidi Klum felt more special as a blond. Ah, the world's most profound questions answered as only a super model can. 

A man has broken the world record for fist pumping by pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

The Kite Runner

There is a chance in our lives when we might have the most horrendous question asked of our moral fibre. In a war situation, and god willing this will never happen to any of us, we might have to stand up to evil. If a situation, a dilemma arrives in our lives, will our goodness come to the surface? When a child has to confront a soul-searching decision, without the fortitude of adult wisdom, the dilemma is extenuated. The burden of guilt will be sustained and will resound for a lifetime.

       The setting is the harsh terrain of Afghanistan. Two young boys have this great bonding of friendship that would warm anyone’s heart. There is a marked difference between the two boys, in that one of them is the son of the others father’s servant. Their friendship is cemented by their love of flying kites, in a competition, that enthralls all the local inhabitants. The landscape is unforgiving, dusty, vegetation is sparse. The market place is not for the squeamish, decapitated animal heads liberally spread around.

       The story centres around Amir, a well-to-do boy from the Wazir Akbar Khan district of Kabul. His mother died giving birth and so he is being brought up by his father, with some guidance from a friend of his father, who he turns to explain his father’s ways. Amir is a storyteller whose stories infuse the imagination of the servant’s son Hassan. Hassan has undying devotion and loyalty to his friend, despite their differences in the social order. Perhaps we could say Hassan has the attributes of all that is good in a human being: A zest for life, bravery, loyalty, a beautiful spirit. The turning point in the two close friends happens when Hassan is set upon by three older boys, viciously beaten up and violated. Amir witnesses all of this, however he does nothing to help his loyal friend, he does not call for help or indeed step in to help his friend. Worse is to follow, as towards his behaviour. He cold heartedly rejects his friend and treats him as an outcast with a blemish so great, he can’t bare to acknowledge him.

       Indeed he implores his father to change servants, so he won’t have to be in the presence of Hassan, who for no fault of his own is the victim of a terrible act. His father is also a man of high moral fortitude and wisdom. He might appear as distant at first but beyond this he is a loving father and a noble employer. Amir even employs nasty tricks to get Hassan expelled. But his father remains unmoved. Afghanistan is living under the shadow of invasion from Russia and when the invasion takes place, Amir and his father Baba a renowned anti-communist, are forced to flee their pleasant home Their escape is perilous and during the trip Amir witnesses the bravery and strong ethics of his father, when he stands up to a Russian soldier and in so doing risks his own life. He asks the soldier if he has a sense of shame, to which the soldier replies this is "war". Amir has a father who is a fine role model, a genuinely good man. The next chapter of the story takes place in the United States, where the two exiles begin their new life, still keeping their Afghan values and customs. We see Amir, now an adult meeting and falling in love with an Afghan woman Soraya Taheri. Their courting is a complicated affair and Soraya has a formidable father, a general. Amir’s father secures permission for the couple to marry. Sadly he dies soon afterwards.

       Amir and his new bride unfortunately are unable to have children. A telephone call leads him to return to his country of origin, which has changed much and is now in the hands of the Taliban. Imagine a poor shop keeper, living on a subsistence levels, always at the point of bankruptcy, having his shop ravaged, by thieves and vandals, then you can imagine Afghanistan. The Russians have cut down trees and in Afghanistan any living matter is vital, in a country so desperate and with such a stark terrain. The country has been vandalized, the people almost accustomed to hardship and oppression. The Taliban to me are like the Nazis, the same propensity for evil, their victims are often woman, or men who do not follow their ignorant misguided ideology and cruel retribution which they justify by saying they are doing acts in the name of a "God". Men have to grow beards, and women have to cover themselves up. This evil is brought home to us, as Amir is the witness of a public execution of a woman, being stoned to death, accused of adultery, in a sports ground. Perhaps this is the most poignant part of the film. It is the barbaric retribution, we would associate with biblical times, not in any modern day civilized society. For me the problem with this film is that it balances realism of the torrid recent past in Afghanistan with the fantasy of a story, which was based on the novel of the same name by Khaled Hosseini. If you have seen for example The battle of Haditha, you will have seen a film, that is filmed with a strong grainy realistic documentary style, it’s message clear cut. This film seems to flit from one style to another and tries to cover many different angles. It is like different films within a film.

       When we see lofty kites flying high, and the fantasy innocent world of two young boys, perhaps this is a hangover from the directors Marc Forster last film Neverlands. When Amir tries to atone for his maltreatment and rejection of Hassan by saving Hassan’s son (who he learns is in fact his nephew, Hassan being his half brother, the result of his father guilty secret affair, his servant Ali is not the real father) I got the sense we were now in the territory of almost a James Bond film, dodging bullets, escaping from the clutches of the enemy, the bad guy gets it in the end.

       The ending was pure Hollywood, sickly sweet. Perhaps the beginning of the film has the spirit of an independent film, but the ending has the feel of an audience pleasing, film for the mainstream audience. The film has a lot of wonderful elements and concepts of great value, but I was left frustrated, it failed to deliver in parts it should have done, it failed to land the killer blow, which could have generated more emotion. I would have reconstructed this film extenuating key emotive parts and diminishing others. Amir and Hassan never meet face and resolve the past, hassan is another victim of the Taliban,as explained by Amir's father’s friend. Yes this film follows an intriguing often-intricate story, but as a film many will enjoy it, but for me I held certain reservations.

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