Up In The Air, The Road and Shutter Island opened on or before December fourth. Today is December fourteenth.  All three are unavailable in theaters nationwide and have been shown only to the Oscar judges and the sycophantic crowd that follows that elitist group. We all know that no matter how good, entertaining, dazzling any given film is, the only way for it to win an Oscar is for it to deal with homosexuality, sexism, or civil rights.  These are the three corners of the Hollywood liberal triangle. I read Walter Kirn’s Up In The Air and it is a wonderful novel. Denis Lehane’s Shutter Island is a thriller with an unusual and heart-warming twist.  Pulitzer Prize winner Cormac McCarthy authored The Road…

     The Road is a post-apocalyptic thriller about a father and son essentially orphaned in a barren wasteland. Unlike the steaming hot lava filled imagery previously offered in apocalypse films, they are abandoned on the northeast with bitter cold wintery temperatures. There are no crops to speak ok, very few (hidden mostly) food reserves and no safe place to rest. Nomads and cannibalistic barbarians roam the infertile lands. The father’s will to see his son survive is not only representative of the depths of the human spirit, but a metaphor for the bond shared by family that should never be broken. Viggo Mortensen, Robert Duvall and Guy Pearce promise to make this a film to remember for the ages.     

     Shutter Island is a film starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Ben Kingsley. The previews promise a thriller that we will not soon forget. Except for the fact it was supposed to arrive in theaters in late November. Much like The Road and Up In The Air it is available only in "select" theaters in certain cities. There is a reason for this I will discuss later. An FBI agent is sent on a mission to a remote island housing the most criminally insane patients in the country. DiCaprio leads the investigation. What unfolds is an epic journey of secrets, lies, and mystery, typical Dennis Lehane (authored Gone Baby Gone and Mystic River as well). The ending is as tragic as it is disappointing but nonetheless what makes the story so intense. The FBI agent is the missing patient. In what is known as advanced Gestalt Therapy or role-playing, the entire island shuts down during a hurricane. This is the perfect time to let the detective investigate the alleged missing patient. Ben Kingsley’s character is not a monster at all, but a loving, caring psychiatrist willing to explore every method of curing his patient before experimenting with labotomization, the worst case scenario. DiCaprio’s FBI agent partner Buddy is in fact his primary physician. DiCaprio has contrived an elaborate and delusional scenario whereby he has been sent to Shutter Island to investigate the disappearance of a woman. It turns out however that woman is not on the island and never was. In the great tragedy of his life, his wife who drank too much and who had mental problems strangled their kids to death. In a violent rage and what he considered to be an act of mercy, the detective killed his wife in pity/retaliation. In order to cope with the destruction of his worlds, our FBI agent invented an elaborate storyline that involved the entire island. The only way to open his eyes before the government would demand a lobotomy would be through role playing. Brilliantly, at the end of the scenario he realizes the truth. Unfortunately, as with most PTSD patients, the strain of the truth grew so paramount that he regressed immediately the next morning. What a thrilling story folks.

     Up In The Air stars George Clooney, a middle aged man in the 1960s whose job is to terminate employees of major corporations. Not only does he fire them, he tries to counsel them and rehabilitate them through a series of seminars and pep talks and mock hiring scenarios. On the verge of retirement and days away from hitting/earning 1 million frequent flyer miles, our protagonist is having an existential crisis that could derail his lifelong goal and throw his career and life into chaos. Every day he is in a new city, meets new people, and philosophizes about the relationships people develop in the air. His flying buddies, acquaintances and friends define his whole life. In the quest to earn 1 million miles, while not losing his job which is to fire other people, he manages to find romance, alcohol, and drama in the final days of his employment.

     I have searched far and wide, and despite the major theaters in Miami or West Palm Beach, none of these three films has aired here. Instead we are stuck with Precious about an illiterate fat person who makes me want to vomit, and The Blind Side which is another 'feel good' movie about a black teenager who has nothing and is taken in by Sandra Buttocks, I mean Bullock. I would not watch either of those two movies with your eyes! The only reason why I am denied the good movies is because they are expected to win Oscar Awards and as such they have been largely removed from the public eye until they can receive enough publicity to guarantee a higher pay day for the studios. What a disgrace.