| $ | 55.6M | Marvel's The Avengers |
| $ | 25.5M | Battleship |
| $ | 17.4M | The Dictator |
| $ | 12.5M | Dark Shadows |
| $ | 10.5M | What to Expect When You're Expecting |
| As of May 21, 2012 | ||
An office worker has been fired for her whistle, distracting nice boobs, figure and look at that...Maria Menounos gained 6 pounds on Dancing with the Has Beens. Kristen Stewart is number 15 on Maxim's 100 Hot List. I wonder how her acting ranks on the S*it List? These days Hugh Hefner spends more time in the kitchen than in the bedroom. John Mayer regrets dissing Jessica Simpson and Jen Aniston in interviews. We just regret John Mayer. Is Bar Rafaeli the hottest woman in the world? Dude, your girlfriend is the hottest woman in the world and don't you ever forget it! Justin Bieber is dating high school students? Man guys at that age are so impressionable. Kate Gosselin says she and Jon have made peace. Awww, that's special. Once their fame ran out they stopped cheating. That's really sweet. Why does Kelly Clarkson lose weight when she's only going to put it back on? Heidi Klum felt more special as a blond. Ah, the world's most profound questions answered as only a super model can.
A man has broken the world record for fist pumping by pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.
Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!
Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?
J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.
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Cormac McCarthy’s The Road is an awful lot like Lois Lowry’s The Giver. Much is borrowed, something old, but there is also something new. Both are post-apocalypse dystopian tales. Both novels occur after a nuclear war has ravaged the world. While The Giver is far more philosophical, historical and political, The Road is a better story and one that goes far beyond the worst case scenario. What if growth and redemption were not possible? What if the world ended and there were no point in carrying on? What then? McCarthy attempts to address those questions and so much more in his novel turned film, The Road.
McCarthy is renowned for his award winning novel turned film No Country For Old Men. Having proven himself as a novelist, McCarthy set his sights on nuclear holocaust. The Road stars Viggo Mortensen as the father, Kodi Smit-McPhee as the son and Charlize Theron as the wife. The movie begins with a panoramic view of the world. The world is ruined. Much of what remains is on fire. The trees are collapsing. There is no color but grey. There is no vegetation. The world is not recovering from the nuclear blasts. Time is not helping the atmosphere improve. Simply put, the Earth is a barren wasteland incapable of improvement. This leaves us with two primary characters, their dangerous lives and many heartbreaking flashbacks. Formerly the father and wife lived happily until the blasts hit at almost the instant her water broke and the birthing cycle began. The son entered the world at the worst possible instant. McCarthy and the directors establish the significance of his birth. He represented a ray of hope in an instantly chaotic world in which there seemed to be none. While the father stayed strong through his iron-constitution, the mother faltered. Fearing that her son’s whole life would be one tragic disaster, she broke down mentally and could not cope with living. Eventually she gave up and walked into the abyss willing to be murdered or cannibalized. This left the father with the task of not only raising a son without a future, but of surviving long enough to finish this task. At first the father/son duo start with a supermarket shopping cart filled with whatever partially ruined necessities they can find. They are completely filthy as there is infrequent access to fresh or running water of any kind. When they find water it is completely freezing and causes a great risk of pneumonia or hypothermia. Shortly after walking on the road a medium sized truck loudly approaches. The father and son hide in the woods but they are found by one of the hooligans. After trying to trick them into moving to the truck, the father threatens the mugger with his gun, only two bullets remain. Vowing to do anything to protect his offspring, he is forced to shoot the attacker. The rest of the cannibalistic nomads search for them for hours and finally give up. Eventually they continue on their journey south to the coast with most of their possessions stolen. The biggest problem in this wasteland is the lack of food. Without the regeneration of vegetation or the survival of grocery stores, the inhabitants are forced to scavenge for even a morsel. The father and son’s next journey lead them to a seemingly abandoned house (in the novel extreme cannibalism has occurred there). They find fresh clothes, shoes, and enough food to last for a few days. Only when they hear ominous noises do they continue on the road. Staying alive means never trusting anyone, and moving at all times to avoid detection. After this brief respite, the two encounter an old and broken man on the road. This is the "old man" played by Robert Duvall. Beaten within an inch of his life and starving, the old man is a pathetic site. The son naturally feels affection for the poor soul and offers him one can of fruit. Barely able to consume anything without vomiting, the elderly survivor is thankful. Pitifully, the son sees him almost like a boy would a dog, something lesser, in need of care and nurturing. Sadly, the old man is not a pet, but a ruined man barely clinging to life. The father and the old man realize they must part ways. Their journeys never cease to be harrowing. Their articles are stolen, they have to kill, avoid attackers, and stave off the freezing cold at all times. As the action concludes the father dies of sickness just after bringing his son to the coast, as promised. On his deathbed, the loving father had spent his entire life force keeping his promise. This leaves the son forlorn but hopefully experienced enough to survive and find some kind of a life even if orphaned. Is this a tale of strength and triumph? Redemption and promise? Is McCarthy’s tale didactic, a caveat about the consequences of warfare and destruction? In The Road, the scenes are terrifying and dark. All hope is lost yet they survive and endure. Perhaps this is a testament to humanity and all that it is capable of no matter what the circumstance. The film is not as brilliant as the novel and it never could be. The book is simply too good. It is concise, grim and moving. Even so, Viggo Mortensen is nothing short of brilliant as the father. He remains in character at all times and does not overact the part. He was the perfect choice for the father. Overall I am forced to give The Road a 9/10 because there is nothing to criticize other than the novel being better which is almost par for the course.
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