Box Office Numbers

$55.6MMarvel's The Avengers
$25.5MBattleship
$17.4MThe Dictator
$12.5MDark Shadows
$10.5MWhat to Expect When You're Expecting
As of May 21, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

An office worker has been fired for her whistle, distracting nice boobs, figure and look at that...Maria Menounos gained 6 pounds on Dancing with the Has Beens. Kristen Stewart is number 15 on Maxim's 100 Hot List. I wonder how her acting ranks on the S*it List? These days Hugh Hefner spends more time in the kitchen than in the bedroom. John Mayer regrets dissing Jessica Simpson and Jen Aniston in interviews. We just regret John Mayer. Is Bar Rafaeli the hottest woman in the world? Dude, your girlfriend is the hottest woman in the world and don't you ever forget it! Justin Bieber is dating high school students? Man guys at that age are so impressionable. Kate Gosselin says she and Jon have made peace. Awww, that's special. Once their fame ran out they stopped cheating. That's really sweet. Why does Kelly Clarkson lose weight when she's only going to put it back on? Heidi Klum felt more special as a blond. Ah, the world's most profound questions answered as only a super model can. 

A man has broken the world record for fist pumping by pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

Never Let Me Go

Kathy (Casey Mulligan from Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps), Tommy (the new Spiderman Andrew Garfield) and Ruth (Keira Knightley from Pirates of the Caribbean and The Jacket) are growing up together at a quaint and far-removed private school. They are never allowed to act promiscuous or devious in any way. It seems the school masters maintain an allegorical force field around their institution. Rumors and myths are disseminated to prevent students from feeling curious about their surroundings. Students are also prohibited from smoking cigarrettes and they are allowed very few possessions from the outside world. Though boring to action film die-hards, Never Let Me go is a masterful story of dystopian fiction. The suspense builds and our wonder heightens until a concerned and courageous teacher reveals the horrible truth to our impressionable teens. After their 21st birthday they will all begin a series of "donations". Their organs will be taken from them as they die a slow and methodical death until their life force is extinguished. There are no reprieves and life will show them no mercy.

     After the horror of this earth-shattering revelation sinks in, Ruth makes a life-altering decision. Well-knowing Kathy and Tommy are on their way to becoming adolescent lovers and soul mates she intervenes and seduces the impressionable and confused Tommy. She does this both to prevent herself from being alone and out of jealousy, fully realizing their lives would be brutally short. Kathy simply wants to enjoy life before it will be unmercifully extinguished. Lugubriously, it turns out their school would be the last of its kind. Apparently its purpose was to find out if the genetically cloned students embodied a "soul" in the spiritual and religious senses. If they had an identity and a sense of individuality advocates could defend against their wholesale slaughter. If the students demonstrated uniquely human talents perhaps their defenders would have ammunition with which to present their cases to the world. Unfortunately their school would eventually succumb to the pressures exerted by of the living and close its doors. Once graduated, Tommy, Ruth and Kathy are transported to the "Cottages" in bucolic England to await the time when they will fulfill their life's purpose.

     As the film moves along the horror of the fate of our three innocent protagonists hits viewers squarely in the jaw. We desperately want this picture to be about their escape and to witness the clones fighting back. Regrettably we find they have nowhere to hide and nowhere to go. They are tagged and monitored at all times and technology though ostensibly primitive is also perfectly preventative. Meanwhile, at the cottages, Ruth flaunts her sexual relationship with Tommy to distract Kathy from her feelings that she has and will always carry for her true love. Regardless of this puerile taunting, Kathy makes a mature decision and ends her emotional pain. When life is so short why suffer the indignity of jealousy and betrayal? She becomes a "Carer" or a floating nurse/caretaker for the donors. This is a voluntary position that delays one’s inevitable donations but only for a short while.

     Years later, far removed from the cottages and the melodrama of their love triangle, a healthy Kathy meets Ruth and Tommy after their second donations. Both are in morbid spirits and only Tommy maintains a semblance of health. We are privy to their scars, their dripping blood on the operating table and the macabresque surgeries they have undergone. Finally, nearing the end of her life, Ruth admits her guilt and pettiness to Kathy and insists she reunite with Tommy to petition for a stay of execution on account of having found true love that can be clearly and cogently proven. In the midst of so much tragedy and the specter of death, their willingness to survive is a testament to the human spirit no matter how life is created. The meaning of life is elegantly called into question when set against a premise of certain death. In a tragic scene the three childhood friends reminisce about their lives at school while sitting inside of a beached boat stuck in the sand of a desolate beach. This is a picturesque metaphor for the human condition if ever there was one.

     Never Let Me Go presents a sickening and morbid spectacle of how far people with money and power will go to survive. The premise is conceivable and is portrayed with bitter reality. In the absence of escape, and with suicide seeming a waste due to the inevitability of death, why educate and foster the clones' minds at all? Why put their poor souls through such agony and torture? Their organ donations are handled so gruesomely and efficaciously it makes my stomach turn. Even so, this is a concept that needs to be addressed. It is also part of the much larger debate about stem cell research and embryonic cells. Mulligan, Knightley and Garfield may not be my cup of Earl Gray but they do a fantastic job of portraying these three tortured souls and they will convince audiences that holding out hope when there is none is terrifying, heart-wrenching and represents the truth of the human condition in all of its spirit to survive (see Jean Paul Sartre's existentialist work Nausea for a similar conceptual example). Two spinning thumbs up.  

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