Box Office Numbers

$55.6MMarvel's The Avengers
$25.5MBattleship
$17.4MThe Dictator
$12.5MDark Shadows
$10.5MWhat to Expect When You're Expecting
As of May 21, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

An office worker has been fired for her whistle, distracting nice boobs, figure and look at that...Maria Menounos gained 6 pounds on Dancing with the Has Beens. Kristen Stewart is number 15 on Maxim's 100 Hot List. I wonder how her acting ranks on the S*it List? These days Hugh Hefner spends more time in the kitchen than in the bedroom. John Mayer regrets dissing Jessica Simpson and Jen Aniston in interviews. We just regret John Mayer. Is Bar Rafaeli the hottest woman in the world? Dude, your girlfriend is the hottest woman in the world and don't you ever forget it! Justin Bieber is dating high school students? Man guys at that age are so impressionable. Kate Gosselin says she and Jon have made peace. Awww, that's special. Once their fame ran out they stopped cheating. That's really sweet. Why does Kelly Clarkson lose weight when she's only going to put it back on? Heidi Klum felt more special as a blond. Ah, the world's most profound questions answered as only a super model can. 

A man has broken the world record for fist pumping by pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps

Make no mistake about it; Oliver Stone is a wondrous director. Are his left-wing political views, or his attempts to tamper with/re-write history using movies as a vehicle positive influences for worldwide audiences? The answer to that question would seem to be emphatically NO at least on the surface. Hold your thoroughbreds and Clydesdales. America is still a relatively free nation. Oliver Stone may issue any statement he likes and audiences may choose to indulge in his re-creative storytelling devices anytime they so choose. Stone has his own vision of what caused the great meltdown of 2008. The director is well within his rights to inform moviegoers about what he believes happened to the American economy. Wall Street: Money Never Sleeps is by all measures one of the best sequels in cinematic history. The only noticeable blemish is the casting of Shia LaBeouf as the lead performer.

     In light of Michael Douglas’ recent revelation that he has throat cancer I would like to seize this opportunity (carpe diem) to highlight his attributes and propound a few personal opinions about the actor. Douglas first caught my attention years ago with films such as Wall Street the original, The Game, and especially Disclosure (yes I know all of you want to heap on Basic Instinct). In all of those movies he portrayed a virile, sensual, dominant man in the prime of his life. His voice, distinctive look, and ability to immerse himself in each and every role enhanced every movie he starred in considerably. He is one of the greatest actors of his generation, or any other for that matter. It is clear that his career has been on the decline for some time now. Starring in abysmal comedies such as One Night at McCool’s and Ghosts of Girlfriends Past has not helped his cause to remain at the forefront of the business. A remake of Wall Street is just what the doctor ordered. The best medicine for a great actor is often familiarity. I may disagree with everything Oliver Stone stands for but I cannot deny his efficacy at ameliorating actors’ performances. Together the two giants are magical.

      At the start of Wall Street 2 the infamous Gordon Gekko (Douglas) is a broken man. He is freshly released from prison, looks considerably older, presents himself as a mellow outsider, and champions himself as an author/lecturer. This represents an important contrast for Douglas’ character. As you will notice later in the film, a complete 180 occurs and we are presented with the real Gordon Gekko. Remember that a truly skilled actor can fluctuate between character personalities effortlessly. The great ones can depict two sides of a character in one movie. When approached by his resentful daughter’s (Carey Mulligan stars as Winnie Gekko) significant other Jacob Moore (LaBeouf), Gordon claims to have only one thing on his mind, reuniting and reconnecting emotionally with Winnie. Jacob falls hook-line-and sinker (more like stinker) for his line of dubious rhetoric. The comedy and painful machinations begin with their acquaintance-ship as Gordon offers Jacob their first trade, a photo of Winnie as a youngster for a recent picture of her as an adult. We come to find out later that Winnie seems to have a massive 100 million dollar trust fund that makes everyone except for her drool excessively.

     Much like his future father-in-law, Jacob is also a financial trader. At the beginning of the picture he works for Frank Zabel, played by the ever-masterful Frank Langella. Jacob is a big time player in Zabel’s firm and receives a million dollar bonus from his mentor to boot. Unfortunately the very next day the beginning of the downward spiral begins. Zabel has to beg the heads of the other houses to support him or else the domino effect would occur.  I hate spoilers and to be a spoiler so I am restricted in how much information I can offer you. I will say that Zabel is disgraced, faces considerable opprobrium and is ultimately shunned by Bretton James (Josh Brolin) among others. The consequences of their decision are dire for everyone involved. This leads to Jacob becoming involved with Bretton’s company and being backstabbed in the process. It also leads to Gekko’s intrusion into the business once again. Revenge is a dish best served anytime, anywhere, or anyplace (coldness notwithstanding).  

     Clearly Wall Street 2 is a loose mimicry of the insider deals and double dealing that occurred between Goldman Sachs, the Lehman Brothers, and sundry other financial houses. According to Stone, their speculation and purchasing of mortgage-backed securities and other faulty insolvent debt triggered the financial cave in. He finds time to metaphorically blame certain entities and cleverly has the criminals assert it is not President Bush’s fault, thus in turn blaming him for nearly everything. The timing of this movie could not be more perfect.

     There is so much intrigue and fallaciousness it is hard to decipher all of the messages inserted by Stone. The cast is a brilliant ensemble as any with the exception of Shia LaBeouf. I have written it before and will do so again; Shia is a manchild. He has no talent, has the wrong look and is an annoying, whiny little brat. He belongs on Nickelodeon, not in the biggest blockbusters of all time. He is the wise-ass everyone hates and nobody respects. Surrounded by experts such as Langella, Sarandon, Wallach, and Douglas it is hard to understand why he was cast for the role of Jacob Moore. He tried too hard and it is obvious. He flails half of his lines and seems like a sitcom actor in the middle of a war zone.

     Look for Wall Street 2 to have staying power. The first film is legendary. The second has arrived with much hype during a rather dull fall movie season. Michael Douglas’ performance alone is worth the price of admission. Admittedly, when he is not on camera the movie takes a nosedive. When he is present everything seems normalized again. There is so much to enjoy here and there is such a wealth of subtext to sort through that anyone intrigued by the state of our economy and how things came to be so disastrous will find themselves in the middle of a debate that will last for a long time. Two thumbs up and a head nod (like yeah).

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