Box Office Numbers

$55.6MMarvel's The Avengers
$25.5MBattleship
$17.4MThe Dictator
$12.5MDark Shadows
$10.5MWhat to Expect When You're Expecting
As of May 21, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

An office worker has been fired for her whistle, distracting nice boobs, figure and look at that...Maria Menounos gained 6 pounds on Dancing with the Has Beens. Kristen Stewart is number 15 on Maxim's 100 Hot List. I wonder how her acting ranks on the S*it List? These days Hugh Hefner spends more time in the kitchen than in the bedroom. John Mayer regrets dissing Jessica Simpson and Jen Aniston in interviews. We just regret John Mayer. Is Bar Rafaeli the hottest woman in the world? Dude, your girlfriend is the hottest woman in the world and don't you ever forget it! Justin Bieber is dating high school students? Man guys at that age are so impressionable. Kate Gosselin says she and Jon have made peace. Awww, that's special. Once their fame ran out they stopped cheating. That's really sweet. Why does Kelly Clarkson lose weight when she's only going to put it back on? Heidi Klum felt more special as a blond. Ah, the world's most profound questions answered as only a super model can. 

A man has broken the world record for fist pumping by pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

Buried

Buried is a rollercoaster ride in a box. Paul Conroy (Ryan Reynolds) is a truck driver in Iraq. He works for a company that recruited his services by promising their employees complete safety while delivering materials for the reconstruction of the Arabic nation. One fateful day, the majority of his convoy is demolished by IED’s created by insurgents and hostage takers. Paul wakes up minutes after these detonations rocked his convoy. What he discovers is harrowing and nauseating. His worst nightmare has come true. Separated from his wife and family, and divorced from all commonplace reality, Paul is buried alive in a wooden coffin.

Paul does not immediately give in to despair. Despite being short on oxygen, and having only minimal lighting from his Zippo lighter, he searches the limited premises for any object he can use to affect his own rescue. In addition to the lighter, Paul finds a charged cell phone. On account of panicking it takes some time before he realizes the phone can be transitioned into an “English” mode. Nevertheless, Paul manages to use it resourcefully.  Although he is no longer carrying the number for his personnel director, Paul contacts several government agencies (beginning with the operator and 911) to take action on his behalf. Shortly thereafter Paul is contacted by the captors. They demand that he produce a video as proof of his capture, and that he request at least one million USD to be paid or he will be suffocated and his wife will be assassinated.

There are four people he speaks with that greatly color this insane (I do not use that word lightly) ordeal of being slowly buried alive. The first is Dan Brenner (Robert Paterson) who does everything humanly possible to comfort him and to ensure his rescue. The second is his wife Linda (Samantha Mathis), whom the terrorists claim they have murdered at gunpoint. They have Photoshopped a video to make this accusation appear to be a fait accompli. The third is his commanding officer Alan Davenport (Stephen Tobolowsky). The fourth and most insidious is his subjugator, Jabir (Jose Luiz Garcia Perez).

Jabir provides terse threats and instructions to Paul. He demands the prisoner produce a ransom video, this despite the limited lighting (green glowsticks are introduced) and oxygen available underground in a box. Later, Jabir demands he slice off his fingertip to prove he is still alive and under duress. Unfortunately for Paul, he does not have a million dollars, and nobody he knows or is associated with will subject themselves to paying a ransom demanded by a terrorist.

While the mayhem ensues, a snake invades the coffin, the wood is very nearly set on fire, and Paul must deal with the realization that he will likely die. Sand continues to stress the coffin, causing seepage and further asphyxiation. The three most crucial conversations Paul has with the cruel and ostensibly unconcerned outside world are with Dan, Linda and Alan. Dan takes military action to follow the cell phone signal of Paul’s captor, and provides a measure of comfort to the tragic victim. Alan tricks Paul into legally consenting to being fired from his employer’s corporation to avoid any legal liability for his untimely death. Convinced that Dan may find him and save his life, Paul reassures his wife from a sealed coffin. Talk about heroism under fire.

Ultimately, Buried is akin to Cast Away and 127 Hours, only with a different and a more claustrophobic setting. Ryan Reynolds challenged himself with this film. He has courage and is unafraid to fail. Although I would never call Buried a “thriller”, I would suggest it is both richly cruel and harrowing. The storyline is sick and twisted but utterly possible. Kidnappings, much like robberies, increase in frequency when there are economic downturns. It is conceivable that a captured soldier or civilian contractor such as Paul could be ransomed. Unfortunately, those willing to kill for money are mentally unreliable and the victim may not survive, just to prove a fanatical point. If you have a fear of enclosed spaces, please choose a different film to enjoy. That being said, Reynolds makes fans feel more comfortable despite the vampire’s setting. A 95 minute film that occurs in a coffin is almost inconceivable. Nonetheless, for what it is, Buried is nothing if not interesting.

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