| $ | 55.6M | Marvel's The Avengers |
| $ | 25.5M | Battleship |
| $ | 17.4M | The Dictator |
| $ | 12.5M | Dark Shadows |
| $ | 10.5M | What to Expect When You're Expecting |
| As of May 21, 2012 | ||
An office worker has been fired for her whistle, distracting nice boobs, figure and look at that...Maria Menounos gained 6 pounds on Dancing with the Has Beens. Kristen Stewart is number 15 on Maxim's 100 Hot List. I wonder how her acting ranks on the S*it List? These days Hugh Hefner spends more time in the kitchen than in the bedroom. John Mayer regrets dissing Jessica Simpson and Jen Aniston in interviews. We just regret John Mayer. Is Bar Rafaeli the hottest woman in the world? Dude, your girlfriend is the hottest woman in the world and don't you ever forget it! Justin Bieber is dating high school students? Man guys at that age are so impressionable. Kate Gosselin says she and Jon have made peace. Awww, that's special. Once their fame ran out they stopped cheating. That's really sweet. Why does Kelly Clarkson lose weight when she's only going to put it back on? Heidi Klum felt more special as a blond. Ah, the world's most profound questions answered as only a super model can.
A man has broken the world record for fist pumping by pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.
Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!
Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?
J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.
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Seven Days in Utopia is the feel good movie of the fall. Protagonist and Executive Producer Lucas Black has made a statement and it reads "My name is Lucas Black and I am becoming a great actor", or some such approximation. His performance as amateur golfer Luke Chisolm is not only a resume builder, it is a crowd pleaser on a typically forgettable back to school movie weekend. To add a counterpart with notability and gravitas, Mr. Black chose the sensational Robert Duvall to play his onscreen mentor and muse, Johnny Crawford. They are not Harrison Ford and Shia LaBeouf to be sure, but this is because they are something much different and much less antagonizing. Sit back and enjoy the drive, get it? Drive!
As the film begins so do Luke's flashbacks. He is traveling in a rented Chevy with no particular direction in mind. Fresh off a nuclear meltdown on the 18th hole, Luke is emotionally vulnerable inside and furious on the outside. On the cusp of winning a PGA Tour qualifying tournament with a brilliant score (65), Luke tortures himself by following his caddy's advice about which clubs to select at critical moments. Ironically, his bagman is none other than his father and lifelong golf coach, Martin Chisolm (Joseph Martin Taylor).
Throughout the film audiences are privy to Luke's childhood, teenage and adult memories of his father's mixture of encouragement and berating. Mr. Chisolm is a tough as nails coach that will not accept defeat or second place for his son. What Luke wants is a separate question entirely. Not only did Martin force bad advice (to be aggressive instead of "playing it safe") at the most inopportune of times, after Luke failed to win (an understatement as he embarrassed himself on national television) Martin abandoned him. Shortly thereafter we find Luke at a literal and metaphorical crossroads (this film is replete with enough metaphors to make any poetry or philosophy professor happy for months). Serendipitously, Luke chooses to veer toward Utopia, population 373-375. In other words, Utopia is an isolated small ranching town off the beaten path. Robert Frost would have a field day with this one.
Once in Utopia Luke nearly crashes into a steer casually roaming in the middle of the road. Instead of pummeling into the roast beef, our wayward golfer crashes into rancher Johnny Crawford's fence and totals his Chevy. Quick side note: Seven Days in Utopia nearly pays for itself on account of its sponsors (Chevrolet, Nike, Calloway, etc.). Crawford comes to the rescue as Luke is leaning against his car bloodied (in more ways than one) and beaten. So begins the mentorship the aspiring golfer has always needed and in many ways always wanted. Crawford himself is a former golfer who stumbled when on the verge of achieving greatness. He obviously settled for greener pastures (these jokes are not intended to be vexatious, they are a representation of my interpretation of Luke Chisolm's humor in the movie).
Mr. Crawford teaches Luke to be more social, calm, and collected. He encourages him to paint a golf green and to illustrate how his chip shot would fall straight into the cup. To his credit, Lucas Black appears to have a professional caliber golf swing. The PGA tour courteously lent out the oft leaderboarding K.J. Choi to serve as his foil. Most importantly, Luke learns to have patience, only in his own hilarious way while fly fishing. Perhaps most important of all, he becomes less inaccessible when he finds a way to befriend an antagonizing trio local yokels. In Utopia, of course, Luke also finds romance with a kindred spirit, Maggie Swanson (Sarah Jayne Jensen). Maggie is well-traveled, has a heart of gold and inside of it is a place for a broken spirit.
It is critical not to underestimate, or even misunderestimate (this has become a dictionary word since former President George W. Bush brought it to life) Seven Days in Utopia. Although it does not have a studio budget to enhance many of the images, it nevertheless is a beautiful and original film. There is significant character growth and the actors seem to work well together, despite their often painfully thick Southern twang/accents. Many young actors such as Lucas Black struggle to become mainstream stars. Often talent is overlooked for a number of reasons, but this did not discourage Mr. Black, it inspired him to take his own route to success. Make no mistake about it, Seven Days in Utopia is his stepping stone to bigger and better roles. This movie is calming and best of all, enjoyable.
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