Box Office Numbers

$55.6MMarvel's The Avengers
$25.5MBattleship
$17.4MThe Dictator
$12.5MDark Shadows
$10.5MWhat to Expect When You're Expecting
As of May 21, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

An office worker has been fired for her whistle, distracting nice boobs, figure and look at that...Maria Menounos gained 6 pounds on Dancing with the Has Beens. Kristen Stewart is number 15 on Maxim's 100 Hot List. I wonder how her acting ranks on the S*it List? These days Hugh Hefner spends more time in the kitchen than in the bedroom. John Mayer regrets dissing Jessica Simpson and Jen Aniston in interviews. We just regret John Mayer. Is Bar Rafaeli the hottest woman in the world? Dude, your girlfriend is the hottest woman in the world and don't you ever forget it! Justin Bieber is dating high school students? Man guys at that age are so impressionable. Kate Gosselin says she and Jon have made peace. Awww, that's special. Once their fame ran out they stopped cheating. That's really sweet. Why does Kelly Clarkson lose weight when she's only going to put it back on? Heidi Klum felt more special as a blond. Ah, the world's most profound questions answered as only a super model can. 

A man has broken the world record for fist pumping by pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

William Shakespeare's The Tempest

It is truly refreshing to hear Shakespearian language in all its splendor and triumph. Julie Taymor's The Tempest is a brilliant adaptation of William Shakespeare’s centuries’ old play constructed in iambic pentameter. With Helen Mirren as the arch-witch Prospera, this picture is star-heavy. For those of you unaware of the general plot scheme of this particular masterpiece I will explain in the following paragraphs. For those of my readers searching for an assessment that will help them judge if this version of Shakespeare's work is worthy of a purchase and viewing, let me propound the answer sooner than later; absolutely, without a shred  of doubt.

A ship of ostensibly inscrutable Milanese seafarers are shipwrecked with harsh abandon. Their accident however is no accident. Prospera (Mirren), who has undergone a Chaz Bono like sex change, only the exact opposite, is responsible for their cruel fate (the original character is a powerful wizard Prospero). Prospera was once Duchess of Milan until the King of Naples (David Strathairn as Alonso) conspired to cause her untimely downfall. Prospera and her daughter Miranda (Felicity Jones) suffered at the hands of kidnappers and were themselves shipwrecked on a dismal and cruel island. Seeking retribution, Prospera and her ephemerally enslaved spirit Ariel (Ben Whishaw) cause their enemies' ship to crash by virtue of whispers and magical elemental forces. Ariel had been imprisoned by the witch Sycorax, trapped in a tree for eternity until Prospera rescued him and he became indebted to her. Prospera tells her daughter the story of her demise as Duchess and lures her to sleep while her scheme is hatching.

There is a savage on the island that is also under the spell of Prospera. His name is Caliban (Djimon Honsou), son of the deceased Sycorax, and he is ungrateful for the witch's help. Prospera's plan is to lure to new islander, the Price of Milan (Reeve Carney as Prince Ferdinand) into Miranda's clutches. Aided by Ariel's heady music, the two are instantly smitten. Marriage is quickly proposed and Prospera is inadvertently raised in status once more. Meanwhile, the other survivors,  Alonso, Sebastian (Alan Cumming), Antonio (Chris Cooper), and Gonzalo (Tom Conti) search for some meaning to their ill fated accident. They begin traversing the island. Ariel hastens their internal discord as the survivors begin conspiring against one another to achieve power, no matter how foolish that notion is while abandoned on a deserted island. Caliban humorously (depending on one's definition of comedy) befriends Trinculo (Russell Brand) as a drinking buddy. Shakespeare's story has more layers than a fresh onion ripe for the peeling.

The oceanic views presented in The Tempest are beautiful. The waves splashing, the cliff side views, the fiery imagery all make for stunning visuals that nicely compliment the acting. The spirit Ariel is beautifully transported through the majesty of CGI. Between performances such as Wishaw’s and the more prominent Andy Sirkis, it is no wonder these techniques are growing more common in earnest films. Mirren speaks Shakespeare as well as most, though she lacks the true glamour of Kenneth Branagh to be sure. Honsou is not exactly Shakespeare’s prototype for the character Caliban but regardless he plays the part as well as can be expected considering the character's identity shift. Cooper, Molina and Brand are not nearly as compelling as one would expect but it is nonetheless wonderful to see such distinguished actors honoring their craft by starring in a Shakespearean drama. Finally, Felicity Jones delivers a meaningful performance as Miranda. She may not be first in line for the Jessica Alba or the Sigourney Weaver roles just yet, but if this is a resume bulletpoint it is one to pay rapt attention to. Purists and originalists never appreciate change or in this case the evolution of a script, but The Tempest is an admirable film worthy of any Shakespeare classroom’s devotion or any intelligent movie lover’s appreciation.

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