Box Office Numbers

$55.6MMarvel's The Avengers
$25.5MBattleship
$17.4MThe Dictator
$12.5MDark Shadows
$10.5MWhat to Expect When You're Expecting
As of May 21, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

An office worker has been fired for her whistle, distracting nice boobs, figure and look at that...Maria Menounos gained 6 pounds on Dancing with the Has Beens. Kristen Stewart is number 15 on Maxim's 100 Hot List. I wonder how her acting ranks on the S*it List? These days Hugh Hefner spends more time in the kitchen than in the bedroom. John Mayer regrets dissing Jessica Simpson and Jen Aniston in interviews. We just regret John Mayer. Is Bar Rafaeli the hottest woman in the world? Dude, your girlfriend is the hottest woman in the world and don't you ever forget it! Justin Bieber is dating high school students? Man guys at that age are so impressionable. Kate Gosselin says she and Jon have made peace. Awww, that's special. Once their fame ran out they stopped cheating. That's really sweet. Why does Kelly Clarkson lose weight when she's only going to put it back on? Heidi Klum felt more special as a blond. Ah, the world's most profound questions answered as only a super model can. 

A man has broken the world record for fist pumping by pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

Casino Jack and the United States of Money

Jack Abramoff is anything but hilarious. Having said that, this over-charged polemical liberal political "documentary" is hysterical. Before proceeding and describing the accusations and semi-truths (a healthy politicized mixture is presented) I am compelled by Congressional morality standards to inform those of you in my vast audience that if you suffer from a gambling problem (define problem in this case however you want) please call 1-800-admit-it. How great is it that casinos are mandated by law to offer you this number? It is delicious that the companies who profit and prosper by consumers losing their money help provide a service designed (allegedly) to stop the problem (the problem being the casino’s source of revenue). Casino Jack and the United States of Money is probably the most ironic film ever presented.

Have you folks ever heard of Barbara Boxer and Nancy Pelosi’s ties to family members who received billion dollar no-bid government contracts by virtue of their high-ranking Congressional offices? Have you heard about Harry Reid’s Nevada real estate deals? Charlie Rangel’s tax fraud? William Jefferson’s 90K cold cash in the freezer? If you have I guarantee all of the stories were short-lived and the documentaries investigating them may never be made. There is an obvious desideratum for Republican launched political attack videos but for reasons unapparent to me they are not and may never be leveled/made.

Now, for the main course of the evening, ladies and gentleman let’s get ready to rumble!!! The film expends a considerable amount of time highlighting the intriguing early achievements of Jack Abramoff. For instance, he played high school football and could squat 525lbs. In college and beyond he became active and then prominent in the College Republicans. By all standards Abramoff has led a colorful life. Eventually, the dynamic and coercive young man became a D.C. lobbyist, a job that he turned into a spectacle of many things. If this documentary is to be unabashedly believed he became the greediest, most self-centered, unfeeling and horrible human being imaginable (not to mention a murderer).

The most fascinating portions of this film focus on Jack’s involvement with Indian casinos (Native American with all due political correctness, but for some reason when referring to the casino industry "Indian" is the accepted racial designation). In tandem with his various consulting agencies, Native American interest groups, and congressmen (including Harry Reid which I give the filmmakers an awful lot of credit for finally pointing out), Abramoff stirred the boiling cauldron of special interest soup. In order to make millions of dollars, Jack allowed himself to be the conduit through which rival Indian casinos could buy influence in Washington and supplant competitors unwilling to match their offers. Unfortunately for many of the people on the reservations, their governors were duped. Often Abramoff and co. (Michael Scanlon and Bob Ney) would accept donations from one tribe to put another out of business and then return the favor in short order. The irony was Abramoff benefitted financially as he played one group against another without their knowledge of his nefarious practices. The good news for Abramoff’s various congressional lackeys had been massive campaign contributions funneled through various political action committees and holding companies. Even an unaffiliated lifeguard was made executive of a PAC. Again, ironically those who underwrote his activities were the same congressmen benefitting from the campaign contributions this brought to the foray. Senator Harry Reid and House majority leader Tom Delay among them.

It is hilarious to find out that John McCain during his presidential bid made such a spectacle of Abramoff while himself being the recipient of suspicious "bribes", just not from Jack himself. One of the democrats who questioned Abramoff in hearings on Capitol Hill had been photographed shaking hands with "Casino" Jack and had received campain funding from him, as had dozens of congressional leaders railing against the lobbyist’s shady practices.

Before watching this political theater I actually felt that Abramoff had been a complete crook. Against their greater intent, director/writer Alex Gibney has painted a human face on our super-lobbyist and made him into one of the most compelling political figures in the history of behind-the-scenes wheeling and dealing. Abramoff was always sordid in his practices, and yes he covered up severe abuses in Saipan among other places, but most of all he comes across as a survivor. He never gave up on his schemes and would subvert any law, or at least bend them to achieve his goals. By hook or by crook one has to admire his power, influence and drive. Few in history other than Emperor Palpatine from Star Wars could manage such backdoor debauchery and get away with it for so long. A four year prison sentence for everything he did (I am going by director Gibney’s portrayal of the man) seems like an infinitesimal sentence all things considered.

If anything has been proved by Gibney it is that Congress in and of itself is a corrupt body led not by constituents, but by wealthy special interest groups who purchase access to power and lawmakers. By his own admission Jack Abramoff was a blip on the radar screen announcing a much larger problem. This problem is that lawmakers seem to commit ethics violations and to underwrite federal and state law based on who is helping them maintain power. Keep in mind that congressmen are entitled to unlimited health care as are their immediate families. They retain a lifelong pension, free housing, considerable influence for which they are handsomely paid, and a modicum of popularity/celebrity status. Many congressmen such as Tom Daschle, and congressional aides become lobbyists after their time in office. Wielding an intimate network of powerful friends they can influence our government’s policy and direction. It is scary to think that laws are made in the United States not based on polls or the express wishes of constituents, but by those who simply buy politicians and their vote. Gibney is anything but even-handed but Abramoff did cavort primarily with Republicans. It is obvious that as Abramoff’s contributions to Delay’s campaign grew so to did the congressman’s influence and ability to help fellow republicans get elected.

Finally, Gibney’s cannonball shot across the bow that sunk the ship had to be a mixture of Delay’s unbelievable cowboy dancing on "Dancing with the Stars" and Abramoff’s e-mails read in front of a congressional investigation panel. It seems that Casino Jack was a genius and a master manipulator but he, much like so many others from his generation failed to understand that e-mails are subpoena-ble (public record as are "Tweets"). The blatant announcement of his avarice and hatred for the "monkeys" he scammed was truly something. Moreover, did Jack have anything to do with the owner of the Sun Cruz’s casino line's murder? Were republican congressmen to blame for accepting trips around the world, free skybox tickets to the Redskins’ games, and free golf for the price of minor political shifts? Probably. But again, if Abramoff’s absence has created a virtually limitless vacuum for lobbyists to become even more entrenched in our "democratic" system did his removal solve a problem or simply expand the problem and create more? Being a former professor of history and political science I would recommend this documentary for the History Channel, NPR, PBS, and possibly for the classroom provided it is prefaced with balance.

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