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Sydney White and the Seven Dorks

Written by Jonathan Jacobs

Have you ever wondered what it would be like to take all of the corniest elements from a beloved fairytale and weave them into a live action modern day teen-drama? Neither have I, but evidently writer Chad Gomez Creasey thought this would be a brilliant idea and subsequently penned Sydney White starring Amanda Bynes.

Helmed by director Joe Nussbaum, Sydney White is a modern day retelling of the story of Snow White set against both the backdrop of students in their freshman year of college and revolving the Greek Fraternity/Sorority system. Tomboy Sydney White (played by Amanda Bynes) sets out for college determined to pledge the same sorority that her mother had joined years earlier. Due to the untimely death of her mother when she was 9, Sydney was raised by her middle class father Paul (John Schneider). Paul worked as a plumber, which led to poor Sydney being constantly surrounded by his construction worker buddies. As a comedic consequence, she knows very little about the "rules" of being a girly girl type like most others in the sorority. Needless to say, Ms. White does not fit in smoothly. It does not help that she immediately gets off on the wrong foot with sorority president Rachel Witchburn (Sara Paxton) when she inadvertently flirts with her on/off boyfriend Tyler Prince (Matt Long).

The story unfolds with Sydney finding herself distanced from the sorority, and living with some new found friends in what is known as the "vortex" house. The vortex house is a bit of a haven for those who otherwise cannot fit in. Given her own troubles with the Greeks, Sydney begins to bond quite tightly with her new house mates, affectionately referring to them as her "7 dorks" (are we catching the subtleties here? "Sydney White" Tyler "Prince", Rachel "Witch"burn). When Rachel engineers a plan to tear down the vortex house and erect a structure of her own liking, Sydney and her 7 dorks retaliate a la Revenge of the Nerds, and I will leave it up to you to watch the story plays out, or Blockbuster might sue Screen Spotlight.

Let me begin by stating that this is not a terrible film, although the depth of the innuendos concerning the fairytale throwback is too much for me to handle. I mean, seriously, the 7 dorks actually fit the archetype of the 7 dwarfs that they were modeled after! There is actually a sleepy, sneezy, dopey, doc, happy, bashful, and a grumpy dork! Also, at one point, Sydney is due to appear at a very crucial event and she passes out from sleep deprivation. I wonder what could wake her from her slumber? Only a kiss from her prince charming of course! Sydney’s computer receives a virus in the form of "one poisoned apple". Every time her nemesis Rachel checks the list of who’s hot on campus just to make sure she is still number one, the witch asks "who’s the fairest of them all?" Trust me, the list goes on and on.

Looking past the annoyance of all the Snow White references, because this film does a decent job of telling its story. Amanda Bynes has always and probably will always shine in these types of roles. Although it almost feels like she has accidentally typecast herself as only being able to play these types of roles, she does so amazingly well. Bynes is basically the perfect combo of cute and quirky. She is a great actress and I really want to see her dive into deeper roles that allow a break from the normal routine that we are accustomed to seeing. Although they will not win an Oscar, the supporting characters hold their own quite nicely. Sara Paxton plays the perfect evil bitch. Jack Carpenter II as allergy prone dork Lenny really shines in my eyes. I predict a bright future for this kid. The Internet Movie Database does not say much about any upcoming projects for him, but keep your eyes peeled!

This show does well as a feel good movie. It is basically appropriate for most ages and the message, although generic, is surely of a positive nature. Campy fun is had by all and one liners abound. You can tell the cast had a great time and the group dynamic is quite undeniable. If you happen to be a fan of quirky, somewhat predictable, campy teen dramedies, then go for this one. You will not be disappointed!