Kate Beckinsale is hot, her new movie Whiteout is not. It has been inveighed against by critics and movie goers alike. The problem with it, as has often been the case in the past few years, is that it belongs on television as a series on Fox or CBS. It has no business being a ninety minute movie which compresses a dramatic struggle into a conflated film reel. The movie is about as lame as a product of the Oxygen network despite the considerable talent of the lovely Ms. Beckinsale. Avoid this in the theater, hide from it on DVD and see it on TV!
All About Steve grossed 5.6 million dollars on opening weekend. Men universally hate Bradley Cooper. Women find him alluring but not attractive enough to drag themselves to a local theater. I find him as annoying as the "I love what you do for me, Toyota" commercial spokesman. Watching Cooper is no different than listening to an insane teacher scrape a chalkboard with a broken protractor until my ear drums explode. Sandra Bullock in red boots is a bigger mistake than Roseanne in a thong. It should never happen. In a post production interview Bullock alleged she wants to keep the boots. Me too, to wipe my ass with. One has to feel bad for Thomas Hayden Church who seemingly never receives a decent film role. He oozes talent and must have the worst agent in the world.
Sorority Row is your I Still Know What You Did Last Summer rip off remake. It has everything the predecessor had except for actors who can, you know, ACT. It is absolutely a high school film for unimaginative teens who have nothing better to do than pray some boobies will appear on their movie screen. Avoid it like the swine flu, I mean the plague, never mind. The movie 9 made a little over 9 million dollars, too bad it did not receive more attention. The only interesting part of the movie is that it came out on 9-9-9. The movie came out earlier than Ryan Seacrest, that is something right? Tyler Perry’s I Can Do Bad All By Myself is funny in a way that Big Momma’s House could never be. Perry is arguably what Eddie Murphy wants to be, an actor who is funny playing several oddball roles at once. Give him credit, this movie is your standard fare but it entertains. You have been Spotlighted!
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