You Again with Kristen Bell

Written by Jonathan Jacobs

Many people find high school to be a difficult and trying experience. Some of these "losers", "geeks", and "different" high school graduates grow up to become athletes, actors (Megan Fox), serial killers (Ed Gein), doctors, lawyers, and even more importantly, movie reviewers (me). Whether we like it or not, ages 13-18 are our formative years. We are so impressionable that our experiences in high school greatly impact our future endeavors. You Again starring Kristen Bell sifts through the messy aftermath of a young woman's (Marni) horrific emotional scarring at the hands of a torturous cheerleading captain's (Odette Yustman as Joanna) scolding and belittling.

     In the wake of growing up as a pimply-faced teen with a haircut that screamed fashion faux-pas, Marni became a successful public relations rep. She felt elated to be rid of her tormentor and even used her semi-ruinous encounters as motivation to become a rising star in the PR industry. Until, by some stroke of fate or twist of luck here beloved brother Will (James Wolk), the big protector, decides to unsuspectingly marry her old arch-nemesis Joanna.

     Joanna has it all; large breasts, a body that would make Tyra Banks drool (pre-Goodyear blimping), impressive choreography skills, and a stunningly alluring look that suckers men in regardless of her true intentions or caustic behavior. When Marni discovers that her brother is marrying Joanna she reacts impulsively and ends up handcuffed during the plane flight home. Not to matter though because her captor is the Rock. Not only does he make a fine air marshal, he channels his old persona perfectly. An actor Dwayne Johnson is not; an hilarious cameo star plays better to his strength. When Marni arrives home and is introduced to Joanna, her future sister-in-law pretends not to know or recognize her. We later discover this is an act. Piecemeal the tenuous truce between the two women breaks down and descends into cattiness, bitterness and intense jealousy. Both women are given to fits and tirades. Both are quite lovely, and both have unbelievably selfish characteristics. In the words of John C. Reilly in Step Brothers, "did we just become best friends?" Actually no, the antithesis is true, you have renewed your fierce rivalry. While Will is charmed to the Hilt (not to be mistaken for the snorting anteater Paris Hilt-on), Marni is incapable of disguising her loathing and suspicions.

     While the Marni/Joanna drama rages on like a charging bull, we find out that Marni's mother (Jamie Lee Curtis as Gail) stole Joanna's Aunt's (Sigourney Weaver as Ramona) boyfriend in high school and always one-upped her best friend at every activity and school event. Another succulent surprise comes at the end but I can only reveal it involves another relative of Marni's, her grandmother (played by Betty White). Let me say for the record that Betty White stopped being funny the moment she tried to be funny. Please give her a severance check good for five movies so she may vanish for a few years from the big screen. If you think I am being unnecessarily cruel ask yourselves if you enjoy her acting or if she adds anything other than momentary shock-and-awe to any film or sitcom? Meanwhile, Ramona has become a billionairess hotel owner/developer. She dresses in the most expensive clothing and she clearly has revenge on her mind. Gail feigns aloofness and claims to not remember much about high school. It would seem that everyone is playing a dubious game except for our charming, dashing leading man and groom Attorney Will.

     Every incident that occurs between Marni and Joanna somehow causes her to revert back to her old zit-faced, horrible haircut self. The parallels are often too obvious and are overwhelming. Also overpowering is the brutally in-your-face drama between the four ladies. Their hatred and malcontent is screaming. Pixie cut pizzazz is overrated. They scheme at all times and exhibit the worst intentions four people could have leading to a wedding. In her quest to unveil Joanna as the worst, skankiest, most hateful bitch in the world, Marni reduces herself to digging up a time capsule and to inviting Joanna's former fiancé to the wedding rehearsal dinner. She will stop at nothing and is punished for her troubles.

     You Again is a movie that lives on the edge. At all times the lives and happiness of the characters is ready to tumble from a steep cliff. It is amazing that people can be so shallow and self-serving. Sometimes the drama is too much and the goofiness is unbearable. On the other hand, Kristen Bell is fabulous. 95% of the audience will side with her the entire time and will wish for her vengeful schemes to work flawlessly. Odette Yustman is actually quite a phenomenon. Her personality in this film is unendurable. She is a royal douche bag, but she looks so damned sizzling in doing so. Her cunning is despicable but her sweetness (however much it is fake) is unbelievably charming. It is obvious most men would fall for her line of bullshit hook-line-and sinker. Kristen Bell should consider moving forward and acting in more serious films. Either way, she gets better every time and she is on the verge of great things as an actress. You Again is the date movie of 2010.