Box Office Numbers

$55.6MMarvel's The Avengers
$25.5MBattleship
$17.4MThe Dictator
$12.5MDark Shadows
$10.5MWhat to Expect When You're Expecting
As of May 21, 2012

Hollywood Gossip, Tidbits, and News

An office worker has been fired for her whistle, distracting nice boobs, figure and look at that...Maria Menounos gained 6 pounds on Dancing with the Has Beens. Kristen Stewart is number 15 on Maxim's 100 Hot List. I wonder how her acting ranks on the S*it List? These days Hugh Hefner spends more time in the kitchen than in the bedroom. John Mayer regrets dissing Jessica Simpson and Jen Aniston in interviews. We just regret John Mayer. Is Bar Rafaeli the hottest woman in the world? Dude, your girlfriend is the hottest woman in the world and don't you ever forget it! Justin Bieber is dating high school students? Man guys at that age are so impressionable. Kate Gosselin says she and Jon have made peace. Awww, that's special. Once their fame ran out they stopped cheating. That's really sweet. Why does Kelly Clarkson lose weight when she's only going to put it back on? Heidi Klum felt more special as a blond. Ah, the world's most profound questions answered as only a super model can. 

A man has broken the world record for fist pumping by pumping for 17 hours. My god what an achievement, but we are overlooking how raw his penis must be. The President of Yahoo has been forced to resign because he made an inflated claim on his resume. Meanwhile, in other news, Barak Obama ate dog. Robert Pattinson is 27 going on 17, good for you RSchmuck, I mean RPutz. Are Jennifer Aniston and John Mayer an item again? Is Jessica Simpson's body still a wonderland? Yes, it's just we are wondering why her territory doubled in size. Is Jay-Z acting like a wild bachelor on the prowl? With a name like Jay-Z I don't think any of us really care. Drake is romancing two cougars? Man, dude's a zookeeper. Does Casper Smart enjoy his five minutes of fame? Is that all he lasts for? Lightweight. Rihanna was recently hospitalized for too much partying. It's ok though, let's keep the focus on Lindsay Lohan, she's white after all. Christina Aguilera is quitting The Voice. John Travolta is not gay, he just like's dudes.   

Mariah and Nick renew their vows in Paris? I bet he showed her the Eiffel Tower. Truth be told, it might have been more like the leaning tower of Pisa. Gwyneth Paltrow has post partum depression. Me too, but it has been quite a while since I was in the womb. Kim K and Lindsay Lohan will attend the White House Correspondent's Dinner. I guess they wanted to see who has the best lines, and I'm not talking about comedy. Jessica Simpson has a baby shower? What is it like 2 feet tall and a tiny water head? Weirdo. Ellen DeGeneres is a Vegan? I thought she ate meat every night! Jenny McCarthy loves Botox. She loves silicon too. Richard Simmons has flammable shorts. Molly Ringwald drinks Kristen Stewart's blood. But alas it's not that time of the month yet. Want to see Taylor Lautner pics? Then go see Breaking Dawn Part 2. Lisa Rinna does advertisements for adult diapers. That's a coincidence because the first time I saw her naked I shit my pants!

Katy Perry dyes her hair purple. That's quite a change from the pink it was last week. Kelsey Grammar has proven you are never too old to get a tattoo or a Viagra prescription. Nicole Kidman does not mind being naked. Trust me when I tell you we don't mind either. Ashton Kutcher is having "intercourse" with Mila Kunis. One more time for those of you from Port Saint Lucie Florida, that's "intercourse". Who's is bigger Angelina's or Jennifer's? What are we talking about? Just ask Brad Pitt, he'll tell you! Seal has a new girlfriend and her name is whatshernameIdon'tcare. Will Pippa Middleton face arrest? Will switching to Progressive really give you better discounts? Taylor Armstrong is "so not ready to date yet". Wait, I don't speak moron, does that mean she wants to date or not? Bow Wow is no longer a wanted man but that doesn't answer the question who let the dogs out?

J-Lo bought Casper Smart a truck for his birthday. Hey, we already know where he likes to park it! Lamar Odom you are fired! Thanks for playing, next time leave the 500lb gorilla at home. Yeah, we are talking to you Kardashian. NBC's Rock Center has coverage more lopsided than Brian Williams' face. Miley Cyrus is not anorexic, she just eats lots of laxatives, get it? LOL? Ann Hathaway's hair is so short she looks like Jerry Seinfeld and there is nothing funny about that. Jennifer Hudson will appear at a murder trial. As a witness or as a defendant? Ah who keeps up with the Kardashians anyway. Khloe Kardashian says Lamar Odom deserved better from the Mavericks. Khloe, try running your fat ass up a basketball court and then you can talk. Is Lindsay Lohan guilty of assault? Only because she attacked my heart. Awwwww. Mila Kunis or Kate Upton? It depends, which one did Justin Timberlake already date? After being arrested for a DUI Amanda Bynes went back to her hotel bar. Maybe it's time she went back to acting because she sure plays a dumbass great in real life.

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Screen Spotlight Featured Reviews

One Day with Anne Hathaway

One Day caused me to feel a thousand and one emotions. Unfortunately the balance is tipped in favor of negative sentiments. Much of this purported love story is deranged. The two protagonist's pathway to amore is riddled with missteps, abused opportunities and considerable dissatisfaction. The two lovebirds take years to burgeon their romance; so much so that when it finally arrives there are so many obstacles and resentments it is any wonder it worked at all. Director Lone Scherfig crams potent emotions down the audience's throats. One Day is the story of a young pairing of friends-turned-lovers fresh out of college in 1988 and ready to begin their lives, wherever it will lead them. Their journey continues for over twenty turbulent years.

In 1988 Emma and Dexter (Anne Hathaway and Jim Sturgess) spend a magnificent night and day together on the fifteenth of July. This date becomes their hallmark as countless critical moments in their lives seem to fall on that date every year. During the first several years of their "friendship", Dexter is busy philandering with as many women as time and hormones will permit. He has a flare for the ladies and they requite his advances because he is a famous television personality. Each year on the fifteenth Dexter attempts to lure Emma into his bedroom for a romp to remember. Little does he realize, or perhaps he deliberately ignores, her affinity for all things him. Emma is forever driven to him and in love with the man she met in 1988. Regrettably, even according to his parents, Dexter changes into a bitter alcoholic as his career begins waning. He treats Emma and his parents like disposable friends to be used should the moment call for it. When his mother (Patricia Clarkson as Alison) is diagnosed with cancer he falls apart at the seams. Dexter is chronically driven into Emma's arms but seeing as he has missed many opportunities to woo her, her concentration is elsewhere.

Throughout their often mutually exclusive struggles, Emma seeks out comfort in the arms of Ian (Rafe Spall), a flailing comedian. There is nothing funny about that! It is apparent that Ian is jealous of Dexter, but fortunately for his libido, Dexter is at all times sexually involved with women of questionable moral character. This licentiousness prohibits Emma from sexually harmonizing with her best friend.

As the years pass, Dexter's career collapses as do his mood and his chances for securing happiness. Meanwhile, Emma becomes both a teacher and a published author as she has always dreamed. Dexter seeks solace in the bottle and cocaine while Emma spends her time with Ian though she fantasizes about her best friend always and forever. Just when it seems they are finally on the verge of giving in to the ultimate aphrodisiac (understanding and friendship), Dexter knocks up his girlfriend. He delivers the bad news to Emma with a warm French kiss, which, pardon my French, is fucked up. A considerable amount of the nuances of One Day are chaotic and nauseating.

When I wrote earlier that " director Lone Scherfig crams potent emotions down the audience's throats," there is no better example than the set up for the tear-jerking conclusion to Dexter and Emma's relationship. First of all, we come to find out they had already slept together despite the entire movie having built up to that moment. It didn't even happen on screen and it fell on a date prior to July 15. This represents a giant tease and a true rip-off. It took all of the steam out of the audience's anticipation. Practically moments after they are united as a couple, tragedy strikes. Not just any tragedy but a gruesome massacre that didn't have to occur and for the most part ruined the entire film that was already on shaky ground at best. I understand the author (David Nicholls) wrote the story in this fashion but the director could have made subtle shifts to prevent the movie from being a giant disaster and a hackneyed cliché. It is like waiting all year for Halloween and finding out a hurricane has caused the cancelation of the holiday. The costumes were ready, the decorations made, the group is conglomerated, and then boom, lights out.

One Day riled me up and then dashed my emotions to the wall. It made me apathetic, tearful, excited, happy and disgusted in close proximity of one another. I am honestly not sure what the point of the story is except to make people cry. Jim Sturgess and Anne Hathaway are fantastic but the story is given to ruin without exception. Much has been deliberately omitted so as not to spoil the film, because the author and director have already achieved that for you without my intervention. 4/10, for there are scintillating moments, all on account of the acting, but they are followed by reproachful scenes in short order. Oh well, not every romance film is destined to be The Notebook or Titanic.

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