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HBO PPV: Mayweather V. Mosley

Written by Jonathan Jacobs

I learned many lessons from observing this over-hyped boxing bout this evening. The night began with frustration. I found out the hard way that it costs $20 per person to watch a boxing match at a theater. If this is the case what is the point of venturing anywhere but to where I ended up and happily so, Hooters!

The first round can be described only as having been awkward. The fighters felt one another out and their scouting reports left us craving for more. In round 2 Mosley tattooed Mayweather with a lucky punch square on the chin. Looking wobbled, Floyd maintained his distance, held on for dear life and escaped with his legs intact. By the end of round 2 Mayweather had regained both his composure and overall edge and this never ceased to be the case through 12 anemic rounds. Mosley seemed outclassed, unbelievably slow and rather powerless all night. His loss was never seriously in doubt. Floyd hit him routinely and at his own pace with monstrous blows that sent spit, water, and Vaseline flying toward the bright lights overhead. His dissection of the much weaker, older and slower Mosley was nothing short of surgical.

There are many types of fighters but only a few that count at the Welterweight level. The first is the ring general with great defense and a methodical style. This is the Miguel Cotto type (pre-Marguerito’s plastered hands). The second type is the Mayweather archetype that wallops opponents with straight, snappy, clean punches to the jaw. He will avoid counterpunches through evasive maneuvers and attempt to outbox, not outpunch his opponent. Mayweather is a master of this type of boxing. The third type is the crowd pleasing mega-puncher, we will call this the Pacquiao prototype. This boxer will punch from all angles relentlessly without tiring and can take a punch in the process to make his work effective. The problem with boxer #1 is he cannot score frequent knockouts and his lack of punching output make him a target for faster and more talented opponents. Boxer number 3 is exciting, makes waves, catches the crowd on fire and will likely devastate most opponents who stand toe to toe. Unfortunately for the Pacquiao standard boxer #2 is too evasive and is capable of landing haymakers without having to make the sacrifice necessary to do so from 99% of today’s boxers.

As I expressed after the Martinez-Pavlik contest, the majority of boxing fans loathe the pretty boys who audition for Broadway in the middle of a fight. Crowds still crave for gladiators like "Iron" Mike Tyson who would swing away and box all night until a knockout would occur. Nobody wants to pay hundreds of dollars for tickets only to see less punching and more dancing. Boxers are already called the red-headed step-children of MMA fighters, why exacerbate the matter and further tarnish the sport’s reputation?

In full disclosure, I adore Manny Pacquaio and would love nothing more than to bask in the glory of a gutsy win over Mayweather but I fear that will never happen. Mayweather has made a career out of avoiding punches and of delivering them as careful counterstrikes. While Manny would try to punch the daylights out of him and is unquestionably the tougher boxer, he would have to catch Floyd who would run away at every turn and would only throw one punch and then try to escape for dear life. The fight would be frustrating and would disappoint enthusiasts. Mayweather is about as entertaining as watching other people eat around you when you are on a diet. Tonight, in a boxing sense, Shane Mosley looked constipated. He kept trying to go but nothing ever came out.

I learned one other interesting tidbit tonight. Much like in most professional sports (particularly hockey and basketball), the officiating always favors one fighter over the other. Mayweather elbowed Mosley, punched him while breaking from clinches, and would literally not shut his trash-talking mouth for one second for 12 rounds of virtual sparring. It would have been nice if either fighter has tried to knock the other out rather than doing nothing more than surviving long enough to go the distance. Both were completely worthless tonight but in his defense, Mayweather is younger, quicker, and plain better. The better man won, but I would be remiss if I didn’t emphatically state that Floyd Mayweather does one thing better than putting his opponents to sleep, he puts the fans to sleep. Goodnight.