Movie Reviews

The Six Wives of Henry Lefay

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Written by Jonathan Jacobs

     The Six Wives of Henry Lefay is incredibly saddening. It is tough to watch how far actresses such as Elisha Cuthbert (The Girl Next Door), Jenna Elfman (Keeping the Faith) and Andie MacDowell (See the entire 80s for details) have fallen since they once ruled the world of Hollywood actresses. Meanwhile Barbie accidentally runs into a former lover, Stevie (played by pretty boy Chris Klein) while being engaged to an even bigger douche-nozzle, Lloyd (Eric Christian Olsen).

    The Six Wives of Henry Lefay is so depressing I wish 1992 would come back so at least two of its jokes would be sort of funny, or almost laughable. The jokes center on the disparity between Henry’s former wives’’ ages and on his sexual prowess and unsurpassed urges. I prefer to imagine Tim Allen with a lawnmower (not an electric razor perverts!) rather than with a glass dildo and a pill jar of Cialis. For his part, Chris Klein would be amazing in an American Pie reunion in 10 or twenty years.

     Meanwhile the ladies of Henry’s life (or bedpost) are visited by his daughter to share memories and condolences of their loss. Each woman has crafted a disturbingly egocentric view of their relationship with Henry, presuming it to have been special and uninterrupted by his philandering. Some of his wives are sexually wanton, others are lugubrious, and some are flat out insane.

     Eventually their bereavement culminates at Henry’s funeral. Did I forget to mention Henry’s mother is played by Barbara Barrie (the older/more wrinkly version of Rose in Titanic). Are you ready to go down under? I mean back to Titanic? Damn it woman if you throw “la Coeur de la Mer (the Heart of the Ocean) in the water again we are going to have a few words about the value of the dollar and the Obama economy!

     After the various wives and a few surprise wives from the past crash the funeral party, they accidentally scatter an urn full of ashes all over a gas station. Ashes to ashes, diesel to premium I always say. After their insanity has ended and the ladies have regrouped at the funeral parlor, Henry shows up to explain the mix up and to play the harmonica. One cannot happen without the other. In the end Henry lives, the women should become fortune tellers or alien abductees and Barbie almost falls in love with Stevie. Apparently not having found her Ken she just settled for Lloyd.

     I am surrendering my duties are a reviewer again as this film seems to be five hours long. In summation, The Six Lives of Henry Lefay is occasionally funny, mostly obnoxious, and partially uplifting. I enjoyed Jenna Elfman’s craziness, Elisha Cuthbert’s inability to portray an actual emotion, and seeing Andie MacDowell act for the first time I can remember in a decade. I shall at long last consult my crystal ball and let you know if it is safe to watch this movie without a bottle of Xanex nearby. Ok it is safe in minor doses. Good luck.

Jonathan Jacobs

Member FFCC

www.screenspotlight.com  

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