The Mysteries of Pittsburgh seemed to be a welcome surprise. I am a fan of author Michael Chabon who has written The Amazing Adventures of Kavalier and Clay, A Model World, The Wonder Boys, The Yiddish Policeman’s Union, Werewolves in Their Youth, and The Mysteries of Pittsburgh. A script that in novel form seemed inescapably great turned out to be mundane and under-acted on the big screen. I give Sienna Miller full credit for this blunder. Peter Sarsgaard on the other hand is a C list actor who plays a bisexual weirdo with style. Has anyone else noticed that Sienna Miller is starring in nearly every straight to DVD flop? If a woman is good looking, that does not translate into acting ability, if it did women in porn would be ugly. What once seemed like a wonderful little novel is now a dreadful big movie.

       Cravings made me feel like a victim. I hate the word victim but there is no other word to describe this increasingly common occurrence. What am I talking about? Renting a DVD, a Blockbuster Exclusive, or a straight to DVD release and expecting the description on the back to indicate if a movie is good. The leaflet on Cravings advertised a vampire thriller with a hint of sex and a lot of action. Instead I received twenty minutes of a psychiatrist who is morbidly depressed and a 6 year old girl who is a locked away vampire but did absolutely no biting or transforming. If you want to watch this movie please do not take Ambien, the film alone is enough to cause nine hours of baby sleep. I am craving…For a movie with an ounce of entertainment.

       Camille is supposed to be a wonderful love story about two soulmates. It is really about James Franco’s character who is a former convict incapable of smiling or leading a normal life on account of his obdurate animosity toward everything, including Sienna Miller’s character Camille. Camille sings, dances, romances and prances in this movie. The two main characters are wedded and Camille could not be happier. Her groom on the other hand hates life in general. What is not to hate, a gorgeous girl wants him worse than any woman has ever sweated a guy despite his criminal background. See the irony? I sure as hell do not. Suddenly, due to his idiocy she is thrown from their dual car motorcycle on the honeymoon (without sex mind you). She is instantly killed but a radiant glow overwhelms her body and presto she is still alive, just decomposing. Only when her body is going through rigor mortis do they fall truly in love. Ummmm, and I do mean ummmm, WTF.